Self Development

5 Essential Things to survive the Stages of Grief in Divorce

5 Essential Things to survive the Stages of Grief in Divorce
Written by Mae Davies
The 2 Week Diet

Nobody wants to experience heartache.  Unless you’re a masochist, you would always choose happiness over pain.  As much as possible, we want our lives to be full of happiness and contentment.   Who wouldn’t want to have a happy ending, right? However, and they live happily ever after only exists in fairy tales.  Sometimes, we don’t get all the things that we want in life, and sometimes in love; though we have fought and given our all, we still lose.  This is the sad reality that happens when a marriage is broken and divorce ensues. Going through a divorce may seem like a very emotionally devastating experience for a person.  Initially, a divorcee may feel like all the light in life has been taken away for good.  She may feel that she won’t be able to survive all the stages of grief and that she might not be able to bear all the emotional stages of the divorce.

Though surviving the first few days after the divorce and the different stages of grief in divorce seem like a very hard thing to do, it’s not altogether impossible.  With the right “battle gears” (and I don’t just mean the concealers and make-up that we have to apply to hide our eye bags caused by incessant crying), surviving the stages of grief in divorce and making the grief and the pain more bearable is indeed possible.

In order to survive the different stages of grief, every woman must take note of these simple but essential things:

Time

As they say, “time heals all wounds.”  Time is considered the best medicine for a heart break; it is the best remedy for overcoming one’s grief.

Take your time and don’t rush things because you are not expected to get rid of all the pain and loneliness overnight.  You’re not a robot; you’re a human being who is susceptible to pain and other emotions.  Going through the emotional stages of divorce may require a lot of time for you since there’s really no effective band-aid remedy when it comes to getting through the stages of grief and to finally letting go of all the pain and hurt that you are currently experiencing.

So take one step at a time.  Give yourself some me-time; give yourself some time to mourn and grieve for your lost love, time to think about all the implications of the divorce to your life, and time to think over all the decisions that you have to make in the near future.

Chocolate and sweets

Most women turn to chocolate and sweets whenever they’re depressed or feeling stressed out.  Psychological studies actually show that chocolates can give us an instant “happy-high” or an instant boost of good vibes and happiness.  So if you’re going through the different stages of grief in divorce, it’s okay to indulge in a chocolate temptation once in a while.

Friends and Family

Having a support group can help you face a tough time, such as going through the stages of grief in divorce.  Knowing that you have the support of your family and friends can help you in a lot of ways.  It can motivate you to go on with your life despite all the hurt that you are feeling, and it can also give you some sort of an inspiration to continue living.  Just talking to your family and friends can also help you unload all your burdens.

Never underestimate the power and inspiration that your loved ones can give you.  In this time of grief, they are like the silver lining in the clouds that are hovering above you, giving you hope and faith that eventually, you’ll survive.

Safe and Comfortable Place

It’s very important that you have a safe and comfortable place while you’re busy undergoing the stages of grief in divorce. People who are in pain and who are in a devastated state tend to be more prone to causing or inflicting harm to their own selves.  So to avoid these situations, make sure that your place is one that is safe in case you have some unexpected fit of irrationality while grieving and going through the grief stages.  Also, make sure that it’s comfortable for you so you can avoid adding to the stress and emotional turmoil that you are feeling. stages of grief in divorce

Professional Help

When you feel that you are going downward and are unfortunately succumbing to a more serious form of depression, then it’s time for you to acknowledge the fact that you really need professional help.  Seeking the advice and guidance of a professional will keep you from having unwanted long-term psychological and emotional effects and will also give you the much needed counsel in going through the stages of grief.

Going through the stages of grief in divorce may seem very unimaginable and not feasible, but with the right company, right attitude, and positive outlook in life, surviving it is possible.  The divorce and the stages of grief in divorce are only bumps and detours toward your happy ending.  The stages may seem very unbearable and painful to go through for now, but once you survive these, you’ll emerge as a stronger, braver, bolder, and more beautiful woman.

 

About the author

Mae Davies

BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that’s one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.