Independent Femme aims to help improve the quality of life for all single women; may it be physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and intellectually. Singlehood is a journey and we want to be a part of this journey to encourage you to embrace your individuality and this period of independence.
Ever since the age of Adam & Eve, women have been identified as a man’s companion, someone who will complete him and initiate the foundation of human relationship and marriage. I mean, that’s why we were created right? To let no man live alone? Therefore, a portion of a man’s rib was extracted and molded into a female creature. All along women were destined to be joined in holy matrimony with a man and live happily ever after…That sounds like a good arrangement, but the problem is, these days, establishing a romantic relationship with men doesn’t always successfully end with wedding bells ringing. If we choose that path in the first place.
The fall of, or should I say, failure of romantic relationships are the results of many underlying factors that commonly split two people apart. Some single women are a production of bad relationships that have left them with a bad taste in their mouth and bitterness in their hearts, which explains their negative outlook on men and relationships. Or some single women have simply chosen to remain outside a committed relationship either as a lifestyle choice or until they find someone they want to get serious with. No matter what the reasons are, the consequences are often difficult to handle at first, but will eventually become easier.
A woman like me understands what it is to be among those who are constantly being set up on blind dates by friends, which by the way usually end terribly, or is the main attraction during family gatherings where everyone seems to keep bombarding you with the, “Are you seeing someone?” or the dreadful, “When do you plan to settle down?” questions. Or even worse suffering remarks from smug couples at dinner parties (think Bridget Jones).
However unlike characters like Bridget Jones, I like being single. Originally it wasn’t my choice. It just happened and I eventually just stopped all efforts to keep looking for Mr. Right at bars, parties, and other countless social events. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I locked myself in my apartment, stopped combing my hair, stopped putting on make-up, or wear pretty clothes. In fact, I continually went on my daily life just like whether I was single or when I was in the middle of a “committed” relationship. There have been a couple of decent men, who desperately tried to change my mind and sweep me off my feet, but despite their attempts, I still chose to take the singleton road, keep my options open and truly enjoy this period of my life.
Finding love, getting married, and having kids may be the ideal life plan for most people because it is a part of our human traditions; handed down from time immemorial, but times have changed and women are no longer bound to the chains of traditions and the pressure of finding “the one”; rather, we are more empowered to rise above to become independent, successful, confident and strong female personalities. Whether they are putting their love life on hold until Mr. Right does show up or remaining single, women are stepping out and prioritizing their personal ambitions.
In this ever transitioning world, it’s is no longer a surprise to learn that women are growing more self-sufficient and capable of living their life contentedly without being emotionally and physically dependent on a man, if they want to. Who needs a manly figure in the household when women can watch how-to videos and buy books that will teach them step-by-step instructions on how to fix a flat tire or paint the bathroom wall? What men can do, most women can do also, and sometimes even better. Women now have choice.
Being a single woman in this modern society means having the privilege to be able to do what you want, when you want, and with whomever you want. Freedom is an advantage that many single women enjoy because it allows you to set your own boundaries, rules, and regulations according to your principles. You have the option to choose without the opposing opinion of anyone else.
Ah yes, the beauty of being single; giving yourself time to learn, improve, grow, and mature. Some people try so hard to stay in relationships and often struggle to meet their expectations when they simply just need to stop, end all emotional attachments, and focus on being single before anyone else causes more damage. There is nothing wrong with demanding a few months or years to reflect on yourself and what (and who) you really want in life. So go on, be selfish. Often times this is the best solution for some relationships.
Singlehood is not a crime, believe me. No one has ever been arrested for wanting to live a life without a significant other. You see, no one really knows the exact time or place when they’ll meet the person they are meant to be with and there’s no magical spell. And if you are looking out for the perfect partner, it’s all about the decisions you make as to when you have fully lived out your time as a singleton, maybe matured a bit more, and can confidently say that you are ready to put yourself out there.
What does it take to truly be happy? Well, for sure being happy does not necessarily have to signify being in a relationship because in fact, not all who are in committed relationships are living fairy tale endings. How you define happiness depends on your own personal level of contentment. Before you completely give relationships another chance, you have to be sure of your own happiness and self-contentment. Loving yourself as a unique individual, a strong woman, and a beautiful human being will help to make your future relationships with men a whole lot healthier.
While some women prefer to be independent, others also eventually want to settle down and share their life with someone and start a family. We all want different things in life. Whichever road you choose, allow Independent Femme be a guide and source of inspiration to all the different trials and triumphs that accompany what it means to be a single woman. Don’t allow society to rain on your parade. Be driven by your desires and aspirations to become a wonderful woman of the present and the future.