Dating Self Development

How to Forgive Yourself for Cheating Part 1: Solving the Problem Begins with You

How to Forgive Yourself for Cheating Part 1 Solving the Problem Begins with You
Written by Erin Lane
The 2 Week Diet
If you’ve cheated on your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband, among the necessary parts of making amends is to learn how to forgive yourself for cheating. Just asking him for forgiveness won’t solve the problem. Even after you’ve kissed and made up, you’ll continue feeling bad about yourself. Feeling so can have negative effects in the relationship that could end it.

Since cheating is an act that seems to hurt mainly the person to whom it has been done, it’s unlikely that there’s a cheater who has actually forgiven himself for doing so. Hence, it’s also unlikely that everybody knows how. To help you avoid making an even bigger mess, here are guidelines on how to forgive yourself for cheating.

how to forgive yourself for cheatingTake Responsibility

Regardless what your reasons were for being unfaithful, you should admit you were wrong and accept what might be said or done to you. Nobody can make you realize your error except yourself. Being stubborn can make you deaf, as well as blind, to what people say or do to help solve the problem. Since you’ve convinced yourself you’ve made no mistake, it’s likely that you won’t do anything to reconcile with your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. Not attaining closure can lead to even more problems. For instance, not admitting that cheating is wrong can make you believe doing it again will be okay. Assuming so could lead to even more failed relationships.

Accept the Repercussions

It goes without saying that all couples should be faithful.  Being so is necessary for their relationships to work.  An undependable partner is sure to cause a relationship to fail. Hence, if your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband decides to leave you, you should respect his decision. Not letting him go would be bad for both of you. While he might end up feeling trapped, you might end up bending over backwards to make the relationship return to normal. Doing so is hollow, unhealthy, and puts you at risk of abuse.

Learn From Your Mistake

After the dust has settled, you should reflect on why things went to hell and how you can avoid making the same mistake again. By this, we don’t mean just figuring out how to never cheat again. Among the other lessons you should learn is how to avoid or prevent what caused you to cheat. Perhaps you felt neglected.  Perhaps you felt your guy changed in an undesirable way. Perhaps you fell out of love and assumed cheating was the only way to escape.  Whatever it was, you should determine the cause. Knowing for certain makes avoidance or prevention easier than making assumptions.

A relationship is a two-way street. It will work only if the man and the woman help each other. Everything pertaining to it involves both of them, including ending it. If you cheat, you should learn how to forgive yourself for cheating despite how difficult doing so is. Not only can it give you both peace of mind; it also improves your chances of finding love anew and making your next romantic relationship work.

About the author

Erin Lane

I’m a Dating Senior Writer at Independent Femme. I’m famously indecisive and love to write about love, marriage, and making the world a better place for healthy and sparkling relationships!

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