Self Development

How to Rebuild Self Confidence

How to Rebuild Self Confidence
Written by Mae Davies
The 2 Week Diet
There are certain situations in your life when your self confidence becomes shattered.  You may have lost your job, gone through a breakup or divorce, or failed an exam. During these times, you may feel like you’re a failure and it’s impossible to have faith in yourself.self confidence is essential for you to survive in today’s highly competitive world. You may have lost your self-esteem,but with focus and determination, you can restore it little by little. How exactly do you gain it back? Here are 5 simple ways to help you rebuild your self confidence:

How to rebuild your self confidence in 5 simple ways

1.Take small steps
According to Lao Tzu, “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step”. Sometimes our goals can be overwhelming, and to keep us going and stay motivated, we need to take it one step at a time- one day at a time. Break down your ultimate goal into smaller chunks, smaller “bites,” and by having small victories, you will slowly regain your confidence back.

2.Set aside “me” time
Whether it’s a ‘staycation’ or a grand vacation, you should have “me” time once in a while.  Spend some time with yourself and get to know your inner you – what your needs and desires are, your principles in life, and find out what matters to you the most. Reflect on that. Try some meditation techniques to restore your spirits and revitalize yourself.

3.Enhance your skills
Developing or learning new skills will give your confidence a boost. You may not feel like enrolling in a class, but doing so will make you feel good about yourself and improve your skills at the same time. Perhaps you have always wanted to learn photography,pottery,cooking,sewing,hairstyling,surfing, organic gardening,yoga, or meditation – now is the best time to engage in these activities.

4.Observe confident people and join them
Study the behavior and habits of self-assured people you know and think and act like them. Moreover,spending time with confident people will likely influence your outlook in life in general. Their optimism and zest for life will definitely rub off on you.On the other hand, try to avoid being in the company of people who tend to view life negatively or who have a low regard ofthemselves. It will not help your recovery in any way if you surround yourself with heavy “vibes.”

5. Count your blessings
We tend to wallow in our misery whenever something doesn’t happen according to plan or after an adverse life event.We end up becoming so focused in our despair that we forget how blessed we are or even how lucky we are despite all the trials in our lives.In order to stay on track, we must remind ourselves that we are blessed in so many ways. By listing down the good things that we have in our lives, not only the material things but more importantly the non-material ones, we are able to appreciate the life that we have and we regain our confidence in the process.Do you have the basic necessities in life like food,clothing, and shelter? If you do, then you are luckier than most people.Do you have the love and support of your family members and friends?If the answer is also yes, you are surely blessed.Are you free from any sickness?Do you have talents and skills that you can share with the world? The list just goes on and on …

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said,“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. No one else has the power to put you down but yourself – you may have your imperfections, but you should not beat yourself up for it. Instead, strive to be the best person that you can be by rebuilding your self confidence and meeting life’s challenges head on.

7 tips to rebuild your self confidence

Life can be full of challenges and tough times – we all have gone through rough patches at some point in our lives;we may experience something so devastating that we lose ourselves along the way. We sometimes lose our faith in ourselves and our ability to overcome life’s trials.We may suffer from pain and sadness for a while, but the will to recover and reclaim our lives must prevail.It may take a lot of effort, but you have the choice to empower yourself. To help you regain your self confidence and rebuild your life, here are some tips to help you …

1. Accept that you are unique
You are born with your own unique talents and abilities. Only you can think, act, and behave the way you do, and there’s no one else like you!  Resist comparing yourself to other people;  we are always guilty of measuring ourselves relative to others, and that is simply not good as we tend to be critical ofourselves, thus giving ourselves very low ‘marks’. You may think that you are not as intelligent, as good-looking, or as charming as the other person, butyou must accept the fact that you are special for who you are, and only then can you have your confidence back.

2. Socialize with positive people
Being with positive people influences you to see the good things in life. You will be able to appreciate the small things and find the value in every experience (good or bad).Don’t hang out with people who choose to view life as a struggle with constant‘suffering’; you may end up becoming hopeless and depressed like them.

3. Build up on your skills
Developing your skills and enhancing them even further gives your confidence level a big boost. Studying regularly (even informally) and practicing daily will improve your skills significantly.For example, if you want to be an expert web developer, you can build up on your skills by taking advantage of the various resources available on the web.  Sign up for free courses and really immerse yourself in what you want to be an expert in. You can develop your skills by applying what you learn along the way and adding onto your portfolio.

4. Conquer your fear(s)
Facing and conquering your fears will not only afford you some bragging rights, but will also enable you to regain some of your self-respect and confidence back. You may not want to admit it,but little things such as spiders,heights, tight spaces, and even the dark may scare you.Conquering at least one of these ‘small’ fears will make you feel like you’re on top of the world and surely lift your spirits.

5. Do some volunteer work
Volunteering in your community will not only enable you to help other people, but it will also help you feel good about yourself.Find a good cause that you are interested in – teach homeless kids how to read, serve some food in soup kitchens; if you are a medical professional, go on a medical mission in places where your services may be  needed. It’s also a great way to meet, interact, and connect with people.

6. Smile and appreciate
Try to make yourself happy everyday with just simple things. These simple things are the great things that make our lives meaningful. Watch the sun rise, smell the flowers, feel the sand on your toes, enjoy a good cup of coffee, take a long bubble bath, read a book, listen to your favorite music, go hiking, etc… These activities will instantly lift your mood and will make you appreciate life even more.

7. Get organized
Having messy surroundings negatively affects your way of thinking and dealing with circumstances.Make an effort to have a clean and organized work space and living quarters.Taking control of the mess and chaos will put your mind at ease.

Taking these concrete steps to rebuild your self confidence will allow you to face any obstacles you may encounter along theway. The bottom line is, it is your choice whether you want to live your life in fear or with courage. Hope the above tips were helpful.

How to Rebuild self confidence: Finding the Cause

Knowing how to rebuild self confidence is normally a tedious and arduous process since trying out different modes of treatment is often necessary in order to find the right one. However, finding the cause of your low self-esteem or confidence can greatly ease the process since you as well as your therapist or a healthcare professional will be able to find the right steps in a faster manner. Here are some of the causes of low-self esteem as well as tips on how to rebuild self confidence based on them.

Disinterested Caregivers

It is a well-known fact among behaviorists, psychologists, and other professionals that self-esteem and self confidence in general are greatly affected by surrounding caregivers. These caregivers can come in the form of a parent, friend, or even your very own therapist. Considering that you rely on these people for support and encouragement, it is not really a surprise that a hint of disinterest from them can make you feel like you are not worth anybody’s time. When this happens, the best thing that you can do is to cut all ties with these people. This will make it easier for you to focus on the more positive aspects of your life as well as restore your self-worth by eliminating the aggravating causes of your problem.

Consistently stressful lifestyle

Even though it may seem like stress that is caused by other factors such as a hectic work environment or financial instability cannot take its toll on your self confidence, the truth of the matter is that it can. This is because stress, regardless of its cause, can worsen any type of physical, emotional, and mental condition. This includes low or lack of self confidence and self-worth. Since stress can aggravate the symptoms or effects of certain medical conditions, those who are suffering from depression as well as other problems that can cause self confidence issues are more likely to suffer from low self confidence. This is why part of knowing how to rebuild self confidence should be focused on relieving stress.

Health Concerns

Even with little or no stress, certain medical conditions can lower your self-esteem. Depression and other emotional as well as mental conditions are known to cause low self confidence since they can inhibit you from using coping mechanisms that can prevent low self confidence. Having diseases that can cause physical deformation or skin problems, such as psoriasis, can also lower your self confidence. If this is the cause of your problem, it is best to talk to a healthcare professional who can provide you with options on how to rebuild self confidence based on your medical problem. This will allow you to discover procedures that can address your problems, such as topical creams or even corrective surgery.

When learning how to rebuild self confidence, strive hard to determine the cause of your problem regardless of how hard it can be. This will make it easier for you to seek further help as well as recognize the right forms of treatment based on the cause of your problem.

How to Rebuild self confidence Through Support Systems

Even though self confidence and self-esteem issues are internal problems that can only be solved by you, this does not mean that you have to go through the healing process on your own. As a matter of fact, having a solid support system is highly recommended by experts because of its efficiency. Most, if not all, confidence and self-esteem support groups are even facilitated by a healthcare professional since it is recognized by many as an effective method to regain self-worth and self confidence. This is why it is important to learn how to rebuild self confidence by having a solid support system. Here are some tips on how to accomplish just that. self confidence

Find a confidant

One step that you should never skip is to have a confidant. A confidant is someone who you can divulge your secrets and innermost thoughts to without having the fear of being judged or being publicly humiliated. Having this type of person in your life is important, especially if it is very difficult for you to discuss everything to your healthcare provider, therapist, or life coach. By having a confidant, you will find it easier to eventually talk to professionals more openly, which will allow them to find a better and more permanent solution to your concern.

A confidant can be anyone from your mother to your best friend. You just need to make sure that you can truly tell them everything that you need to without holding anything back.

Go to a community health center

Oftentimes, people refrain from going to a community health center. This is because they think that the healthcare professionals in this facility will not see their self confidence issues as something that they should look into. Another reason is that people think that the people in these facilities are not equipped both academically and physically to help people with self-esteem or self-worth issues. However, the truth of the matter is that a local community health center can help you gain a new perspective on your problem. It will also help you reach out to people more easily. Hence, going to a health center can help you in more ways than one.

Establish a strong connection with your family

According to many experts, family is the basic structure of any society since the way that you are brought up is a very strong determinant of how you look at yourself and other people This is why establishing a good relationship with the members of your immediate family, such as your father, mother, and partner, should never be overlooked. This is also a great way to solve any familial hostility, which may actually be the cause of your lowered self-esteem or self confidence.

When it comes to knowing how to rebuild self confidence, always remember that you do not have to do everything by yourself. Having a support group allows you to solve your problems as well as have a more peaceful outlook on life.

How to Rebuild self confidence After Divorce

When it comes to dealing with the aftermath of a divorce, people often find themselves focusing on finding new relationships or dividing assets that they forget about the fact that a separation can take its toll on their self-worth and esteem. Hence, they fail to notice that this problem is already wreaking havoc on their personal, social, and other aspects of their life. This is why it is important to learn how to rebuild self confidence after getting a divorce, even if you think that you do not have this type of issue. Here are some tips on how to do just that.

Face your feelings head-on

One of the most important tips that you need to remember is to face the music and deal with the consequences. This will allow you to recognize any negative feelings that you may be harboring towards yourself and your former partner, which may cause the decline in your self confidence. Doing so will also allow you to work through your feelings more efficiently since you will know how you are feeling exactly.

Make a list of accomplishments

Getting a divorce can make you feel inadequate since it may lead you to think that you do not have the ability to sustain a loving and healthy relationship with another person. This feeling of inadequacy can extend to other aspects of your life, such as your work and your social skills. This is why it is a good idea to make a list of your accomplishments. These accomplishments do not have to be a Nobel peace prize or a promotion at work. They can be anything from raising your child properly despite your marital dispute to successfully letting go of the anger and resentment that you may hold against your former partner.

Have a new life goal

One important tip is to recognize the efficiency of keeping yourself busy. Embarking on the fulfillment of a new life goal provides a healthy distraction for you. Instead of bringing yourself down and trying to find the different ways that you may have caused the split even if there is none, you will be able to focus on something that is more productive. When setting a goal, make sure that you approach this tip systematically to ensure that you actually pull through and that you do not end up fooling yourself into thinking that you are working on the goal when you are really thinking about your past relationship.

There is no use denying the fact that a divorce can directly cause your self-worth and self confidence to plummet dramatically, especially if you are the last one to find a new partner. However, this does not mean that you cannot do anything to re-establish your self-worth and realize that you are a catch. All you need to do is know how to rebuild self confidence after a divorce and have the patience to wait for the results.

6 ways to recover from bullying

Bullying can have devastating effects on the person being bullied, especially during the ‘tender years’. The bullied person may feel worthless and fearful, but at the same time, may also develop anger, shame, and resentment. These negative emotions may adversely impact the person’s outlook in life and can definitely affect their future.If you or your child has experienced bullying, don’t lose hope! It is highly possible to overcome the trauma and lead a full and satisfying life experience afterwards.Here are some tips on how to rebuild your self confidence and recover from bullying:

  1. Assess yourself

You need to look within yourself deeply and honestly to know who you really are, what your beliefs are, and what you stand for. Knowing yourself thoroughly can improve self-esteem and may cushion you from whatever the bullies may throw at you – you will know truth from lies, so you can face them head on. Listing down your traits, both good and bad, will help you a lot:

“What are your good traits?”“What are your bad traits?”  Afterwards, answer the next important question, “Why were you bullied?”  Determining the specific cause will enable you to prevent bullying from happening again in the future.

  1. Project self confidence

This is easier said than done, but projecting self confidence will definitely deter bullies from harassing you. Even if you don’t feel like the most self-assured person in the world, you have to make the impression that you know how to assert yourself and you know how to defend yourself if the need arises. So this leads us to the next tip…

  1. Study self-defense or martial arts

Studying martial arts or even basic self-defense methods will surely boost your self confidence. Not only will you learn how to defend yourself from physical attacks, but you will also acquire the discipline and self-assurance that comes with the training. Reminder: this is only for self-defense purposes and not for inciting fights or revenge.  Having so called ‘street’ skills will keep you feeling confident and help you project that ‘don’t mess with me’ aura.

  1. Talk to family members or trusted friends

Confiding in someone you trust will lighten up your burden. Your family and friends can provide you with the moral support during the times that you need it most.So don’t hesitate to tell your parents,siblings,aunt,cousin, or best friend if someone is bullying you. They will be able to provide you with comforting words and advice on taking necessary action when needed.

  1. Focus on enjoying life

Do things that remind you that life is good – develop your hobbies or interests like cooking,gardening,traveling, watching movies, reading books,hiking,camping,or whatever it is you’re into.  Doing these activities may not have much appeal to you at first, but exerting the effort to at least try will be worth it in the end. As you keep involving yourself in the things that catch your attention, you will have more confidence in yourself and,eventually, will regain your zest for life.

  1. Get professional help

If you have tried every suggestion and everything else failed, it’s time to get help from a professional.A qualified counselor or psychologist can accurately and objectively evaluate your case and will give you a plan of action so you can stop the bullying, prevent it from happening again, and lead you to the path of recovery.

By following the advice we’ve given here, you can overcome the effects that come with being a victim of bullying with more confidence. Your ability to stand up for yourself and the support you get are crucial in bouncing back and rebuilding your life. Believe you can, and go from there.

About the author

Mae Davies

BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.