Dating

Telltale Signs of a Rebound Relationship

Signs of rebound relationship - Independent Femme
Written by Erin Lane
The 2 Week Diet
So you have fallen in love with the coolest guy you have ever met in your life.  And you have already started dreaming about your future and how you can make it even better. 

And then:

You found out your man has just exited from a relationship and has immediately taken interest in the romance between the two of you. 

You must be going crazy trying to figure out if you’re in a rebound relationship.

So how do you know if you are only filling in the emptiness and pain from your partner’s recent breakup?  

Here are some rebound relationship signs that might help you figure out your next move.

Here is some hope – rebound relationships do turn to real relationships, and according to Cosmopolitan, some women even marry their rebound guys! Read our next article From Rebound Relationship to Real Relationship – Is it Possible? to see how it could work out.

Signs of a Rebound Relationship 

Signs of rebound relationship - Independent Femme

He never talks about her

If a guy has gotten over a breakup, he can pretty much talk about her (or at least some details about her) when you ask him to.  If he has moved on or he claims to have moved on but gets distracted with the mention of his ex, then you know you have a rebound relationship sign.  If he isn’t willing to show you his vulnerable side or he simply is still emotionally attached to his previous relationship, you might be in trouble.

You haven’t met any of his friends  

One of the rebound signs you can look out for is when he never introduces you to any of his friends or family members.  Whether he thinks it’s too early to have you meet his buddies or not, it is still important that he lets you in on his world.  If he can’t or claims he can’t yet, you might just need to give him some time and get back to you when he is really ready to commit.

She’s all around him

He sees her in your lovely brown eyes and he doesn’t fail to mention that.  He takes you to places they have been together and acts as if everything is just as great as it used to be.  He keeps their old photos together on that same frame on his wall.  He can’t seem to find something new and exciting to do with you without using the old memories as a reference.  If you can see her in his eyes, then this clearly is a rebound relationship sign.

Here is a little something to keep you busy, in case your mind wonders to places you don’t want to explore… just yet!

No emotional attachment  

Every woman can feel if a guy’s intention is to just get into your pants to fill in his emptiness inside.  This sign can lead you nowhere but heartbreak, especially if you’re already emotionally connected to him but he doesn’t seem to get it.  If he puts too much focus on your physical relationship and does nothing else for your relationship to grow, then you know he really isn’t ready for anything serious.

Determining whether you are in a rebound relationship or not can be tricky.  But these signs will help you understand if you’re up for a healthy and loving relationship or you’re just in it for someone else’s whirlwind temporary romance.

The One Who Controls The Rebound Controls The Game

Signs of rebound relationship - Independent Femme

The one who controls the rebound controls the game. This is a very famous lesson in basketball. And this is also very true. Just imagine the power that you have when every missed shot to the basket leads to your hands. You can dunk it right on the spot, you can dribble it to a safe distance where you can make a shot, or you can pass it to your sharpshooter teammate. If you control the rebound, you certainly control the game.

The hanging question is:

Does the lesson also apply in relationships?

If the relationship you’ve invested so much in suddenly ends and you want nothing more than to be happy again, do you enter a rebound relationship at once? If your answer is yes, then what is the proper way of controlling the rebound commitment? Can it even be called a commitment when it’s just an act of desperation? Do you even know the most obvious rebound relationship signs?

Those questions will be answered in a step-by-step manner. First, the rebound relationship sign will be mentioned and explained, and then you should decide if it is a commitment, and last, you’ll be given tips on how to deal with it.

If after reading this article you are still looking for answers, then I highly recommend the Why Men Pull Away course, by Meet Your Sweet. It provides powerful techniques to engage emotionally unavailable men to make them desire and want you. Click here to watch a video about it!

Second thoughts should have a third and a fourth, and a fifth…

The moment your previous relationship snaps, and then you find yourself immediately in a spur-of-the-moment relationship, think. This is one rebound relationship sign. No commitment should be that fast. But it also does not mean that you cannot go ahead with it. You just have to think hard. If you think that there is something more in this fast relationship than just desperation, why not give it a try? If you don’t feel anything, drop it. The chances of being hurt are high.

Leaning on to the carbon copy

The second rebound relationship sign you’ll notice is when the man or woman you are currently dating seems like a carbon copy of your ex. Stop right there. Again, think. Is this just a coincidence? Or do you want him or her because of your ex? Because if the answer is yes, it’s not a commitment. This is certainly just an act of compensation. And from whatever angle you look at it from, nothing good will come out of it. You will look desperate (because, hey, people will surely notice the similarities), and you’ll hurt the rebound’s feelings.

Rebound relationship sign number three – the endless, pointless, flirting 

Although you really did not enter a relationship, you make it a point to flirt with almost every gal or guy that comes your way; you are absolutely looking for a rebound. Don’t do this to yourself. This time, there is no question asked about it being a commitment or not—it definitely isn’t.  Instead of doing this, why not enjoy being single for a while? Go out with friends and family; focus on your career. Just don’t be the town’s next flirt king or queen. Once someone whom you think is right comes along, try to turn it into a genuine relationship.

Letting it all out

Once a mistake is realized (you’ve entered the wrong involvement and you’ve noticed the rebound relationship signs) and you want to make things right, don’t stop yourself from crying. After all, it’s really hard to relinquish a relationship when you have so much hope in it. Take your time in thinking, deciding, and reflecting.

Making peace with your rebound

Lastly, but one that should never be forgotten, apologize. Your rebound did not deserve to be used. It was not his or her fault that your previous relationship did not work out. Say sorry and take it like a man (even if you’re a girl) because you’ve brought this on. Who knows, maybe when the cards are all out, a real relationship may blossom.

On a last note, don’t lose hope. Someone out there will come along.

The Bounce Backfires…

Signs of rebound relationship - Independent Femme

Here is the fact:

Most people are afraid of being alone.

The frustration when all your friends are in a relationship and you are still single is always palpable. And when a breakup happens, the reality that you are alone again is bothersome. While most people get on with life and patiently wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to come once again, some just can’t stand the loneliness.  So, here comes the epic rebound status.

It is true that most relationships immediately after breakuphave no ill intents. You really just feel lonely and you want someone to be there for you. But the thing is when rebound relationship signs show, you must be careful. Ill intent or not, you may hurt someone who genuinely feels something for you.

Here are the top rebound relationship signs that you should be on the lookout for:

You date the first one that comes your way

The most obvious sign is this: you WILL date the first one that will give you the slightest interest. This sign is especially true if you were ‘abandoned’ by your boyfriend (or girlfriend) and the reality of it all still has not set in.

Sex keeps you going

This is perhaps the most hurtful of all the signs, at least for your rebound. You do not care about the progress of the relationship, but what keeps you going is the sex. Not your boyfriend’s caring personality, not his humor, just sex.

You often hurt him with your words

Another sign that has a huge potential to hurt your current beau is this: you often talk to him about your ex. Often times too, you compare their qualities! And come to think of it, when you reflect, you cannot give a proper answer to the question: how did I move on?

You try to provoke fate

Of all the signs, this is perhaps the most obvious indicator. When your current lover and you are together on a date, you wish that your ex would see you. In fact, there are times when you visit the places your ex and you frequented in the hopes that he shows up there.

Something in you wants to tell your ex that you have a new special someone in your life. You want to get out some sort of reaction from him or her. In a way, you are using your new lover, and you might not feel it (or he/she may not show it), but those moves really hurt.

Friends’ reaction: SHOCK

Another sign is your friends’ reactions. The moment they learn that you are dating again, they will all be skeptic. They won’t believe that you have moved on! And the painful part is this- you will feel what they think of the new relationship, and your new beau will, too. The both of you shall endure the knowing looks and the unspoken declaration of the truth– that is nothing but a rebound.

When rebound relationship signs show, you must heed them. First, it is because it is quite pathetic (excuse the expression…) to use someone just so you can fill a hole in your heart, and secondly, you will hurt that someone in the process.

What if the time comes when you really feel something for him, but he now sees you as a heartless person? Always remember that these rebound signs are there for a reason, and that is to prevent you from hurting someone, and yourself.

If after reading this article you are still looking for answers, then I highly recommend the Why Men Pull Away course, by Meet Your Sweet. It provides powerful techniques to engage emotionally unavailable men to make them desire and want you. Click here to watch a video about it!

Rebound—Foul or Fantasy: A Commentator’s Analysis

Signs of rebound relationship - Independent Femme

Just as a sports commentator gives his outside-of-the-ring views about how the basketball game is faring, let’s also analyze the tail of the tape. Many people believe that rebound relationships are doomed from the very beginning. If you notice the trend on relationship expert sites, you’ll know that they only have one piece of advice to offer you the moment the rebound relationship signs blossom—run away and never look back. Is it fair to judge the relationship before something even actually starts?

Once the rebound relationship signs occur – is it doomed?

At one angle (on the right corner!), yes it is. The first and most obvious rebound relationship sign is not the one that others see; it’s actually the thing that you feel.  So, when you feel like there’s an empty home in your heart (as dramatic as it sounds!) and then you suddenly see yourself in a somewhat distorted commitment (if you can even call it that!), is it not safe to say that the relationship is doomed?

On the left corner, you can say that no, it’s not fair to say rebounds are doomed right away. Sure, there may have been a lot of rebound relationship signs and you may have acknowledged them, but when you have genuinely put your mind (and possibly your heart) into a relationship, hoping that it will work, the chances of it being real can be higher.

Another important factor – look in the mirror

Okay. You’ve already ascertained that there is a chance for a rebound to be real, but you still have things to do – like examine yourself and asking questions like: “Am I a chronic rebounder?”

The answer, of course, will depend on how many relationships you have lost, and the nature of your next relationships after that, but still, you’ll be able to answer it.

If you answered no, well and good. Chances are what you have right now is bordering real and is not simply a rebound. Yes, you still have not gotten over your ex (it’s really hard, especially if more than half of your heart is invested), but the thing is, you’re capable of committing again. Subtle rebound relationship signs may still be there, but they are more remnants than they are warning signs.

If, on the other hand, you answered yes—think of your current lover’s feelings and how you will hurt him or her if the relationship is truly nothing but a rebound.

The effects: Are they good or bad?

One good way of assessing if a rebound relationship will work or not is examining the effects it has on you. Are you happier? Or do you still miss your ex? Does it give you satisfaction? Or are you demanding things that your ex possesses?

If you find that rebound relationship signs are wearing off, there’s a big fat chance that what you have is a genuine commitment and not just an excuse called a rebound.

If the signs keep getting worse (you cry at night, you expect too much, you act up whenever your ex is around, etc.), ask yourself if you’re better off single than remaining on walking-on-eggshells mode.

Here is some hope – rebound relationships do turn to real relationships, and according to Cosmopolitan, some women even marry their rebound guys! Read our next article From Rebound Relationship to Real Relationship – Is it Possible? to see how it could work out.

Settling the scores

At the end of the day, there are only two things that matter—how you are faring, and if you have hurt people along the way. Yes, it may be a good call to show everybody that you have moved on, but will you really feel good knowing that what you have is just a rebound, and that what you’re doing can probably hurt your current lover? I guess not.

The last piece of advice is to think it through—once you have seen the rebound relationship signs, decide if the relationship is doomed or if it’s just starting to blossom.

If after reading this article you are still looking for answers, then I highly recommend the Why Men Pull Away course, by Meet Your Sweet. It provides powerful techniques to engage emotionally unavailable men to make them desire and want you. Click here to watch a video about it!

About the author

Erin Lane

I'm a Dating Senior Writer at Independent Femme. I'm famously indecisive and love to write about love, marriage, and making the world a better place for healthy and sparkling relationships!

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