The Pros and Cons of Dating Your Best Friend [Escaping The Friend Zone]

W]hat if you’ve a really good friend and one day, you just find yourself falling for him?  What would you do?  Between remaining and escaping the friend zone, what would you choose?

Falling in love with someone is a wonderful thing; however, being in love with a good friend, especially with your best friend, can prove to be a not-so-easy situation. Of course, aside from the courage that you need in order for you to tell your friend about your feelings, you also have to be ready to deal with all of the consequences and the repercussions of escaping the friend zone.  This is because not all bff-to-bf transitions have a happy ending.  There are only two results if you ever choose to be more than just friends: it’ll either work out in the end, or not.

That’s why, before escaping the friend zone, you’ve to be sure about your feelings for your friend first.  Also, you’ve to recognize that there are both advantages and disadvantages in getting out of the friend zone and dating your friend; weighing the pros and cons of escaping the friend zone can help you come up with a wise decision about whether or not you’ll date your friend in the end.

Escaping the Friend Zone – Weighing its Pros and Cons: The Pros

Let’s start with some of the obvious advantages and then we’ll move on and explore some of the disadvantages afterward.

You already know each other very well

One of the advantages of escaping the friend zone and dating your friend is that you already know each other very well.  You already know each other’s personality and character so you won’t waste much time in second guessing the things that he wants or needs.  Also, you already know his interests, and the best thing about this is that since he’s your friend, both of you’ve more or less the same interests, which is why you’re most likely to get along well in your relationship. escaping the friend zone

You know that he can accept you for who you are

Since he’s your friend, you’ve already shared some of your deepest and darkest feelings and secrets to him.  You have also been in your worst attire or outfit with him or he has even seen you without your make-up on and etc.

For sure, he has seen you in your most unprepared or unappealing outfit, so if you ever end up dating him, you don’t have to pretend to be Miss Poise and Miss Perfect anymore because he has already seen you at your worst.  He already knows the real you, and by still staying by your side even after getting out of the friend zone, he is showing that he accepts you for who you are.

Friendship is one of the best foundations of love

According to Jonathan Anthony Burkett, “The best foundation for relationships to grow, flourish, and succeed is a deep-rooted friendship.”  Indeed, they say that friendship is the ideal foundation of love because if you’ve a friendship that slowly builds into love, you’re most likely going to stand the tests and challenges that come with your relationship.

The best kind of relationship is when you’re not just lovers, but you’re also best friends with the one you love.  Romance, chemistry, and attraction may be important, but it won’t be enough if you want your love to stand the test of time.

You wouldn’t have to worry about your other friends

Another advantage in getting out of the friend zone and dating your friend is that you won’t need to worry about your other friends’ approval.  They might even be happy that they won’t need to adjust and accommodate a stranger in your night outs because your bff-turned-bf is with the same group or circle of friends.  They might also be celebrating with you as most likely they already saw the signs that you and your friend would eventually end up together.

You can count on him

Since he is your friend above anything else, even before escaping the friend zone and dating him, you know for sure that you can count on him.  It’s an added bonus that you already know that your boyfriend now is someone who is reliable and someone whom you can even share your problems with.

All these pros make escaping the friend zone, dating, and loving him a wonderful thing to do.

Now we’ll dive into some of the disadvantages of dating your best friend.

Escaping the Friend Zone – Weighing its Pros and Cons: The Cons

Escaping the Friend Zone - Weighing its Pros and Cons ConsEscaping the friend zone and dating your friend is something that might not be easy for a woman to do.  It’s something that every woman must think twice about as going from bff to bf can change not just your friendship and your relationship with each other but also a LOT of other things. It’s true that there are many pros in escaping the friend zone and dating your friend.

It’s also correct to say that these things could be your ace in making the relationship work and last.  Your friendship can become the foundation for a great love, and all these pros can make escaping the friend zone, dating, and loving him a wonderful thing to do and a great experience to have.

However, not every bff-to-bf transition is “sugar and spice and everything nice,” so to speak.  Escaping the friend zone and dating your friend isn’t all flowers and springtime.  There are also some disadvantages in dating your friend, and these too (along with the pros) are the things that you should consider before escaping the friend zone and diving right into the lover’s zone, even if you’re already falling hard and fast for him.

The risk of losing your friendship

The biggest possibility that could overshadow the idea of escaping the friend zone is the risk of losing your relationship with your friend.  What if you tell him about your feelings but he can’t reciprocate them, and in effect, he’ll slowly drift away or distance himself from you?  And what if you two start dating and it doesn’t work out and you won’t be friends anymore after the breakup (because it’s really rare for people to become friends with their exes after a breakup)?

Before you decide on escaping the friend zone, you must ask yourself if your love is so strong and uncontainable that you’ll be willing to sacrifice your friendship for your love.

Lack of the element of mystery in the relationship

Another con in escaping the friend zone and dating your friend is that since you know each other very well, there might be no more room for some surprises and mystery in the relationship.  You may have known each other since god-knows-when that you can already predict and anticipate his next moves.

If you’re someone who wants to always be kept on her toes or someone who wants diversity in a relationship, then this might just bore you or make you lose interest in him and in dating him.

The possibility of being awkward and uncomfortable with him

The transition that you would go through from bff to bf could really be awkward and uncomfortable at first.  If you’re thinking of escaping the friend zone, it might take you (and even you’re common friends as well as the people around you) a while to get in the groove or to get used to this new kind of relationship that you and your friend-turned-boyfriend have. escaping the friend zone

Losing your quality time with your circle of friends

There’s a reason why there’s an unspoken rule within a group to not date (as much as possible) your friend.  If you’re hanging out with your friends who are also the circle of friends of your bff-turned-bf, the tendency is that you’ll be focused too much on each other that you’ll create your own small island within the group.

You might not notice it, but some of your friends may feel that the group outing becomes you and your boyfriend’s extended date, and they might feel uncomfortable that you’re too engrossed with each other instead of having some quality time with your other friends.

You’re too aware of each other’s relationship history

They say that ignorance is bliss – and when it comes to you and your partner’s past love affairs, I can say that, at some point, it’s better for you to not know some of those past love affairs.  However, if you’re dating your pal, you’ll have a wide knowledge of his past love affairs and vice versa (more or less), and some of these things you might wish you didn’t know about him.

This is because what each of you knew about the other’s relationship history may make either of you feel insecure or jealous, and it can even bother you in a lot of ways, even if in reality there’s really nothing that you should be bothered about/

Escaping the friend zone and dating your friend could either be good or bad.  If it works out in the end, then your friendship could very well become a very wonderful foundation for a great love.

It’s wonderful to have a best friend and a lover in the same person, isn’t it?  However, if things don’t work out, the ending could also turn up really bad, and there’s always a possibility of losing the friendship.

Before you go, we'd love to hear from you in the comments below. I'm working hard to build a community here and a big part of that are your contributions! If you have experiences to share, questions, comments, suggestions, or anything else, please leave us a quick comment. I promise to reply!
Erin Lane on Email
Erin Lane
I'm a Dating Senior Writer at Independent Femme. I'm famously indecisive and love to write about love, marriage, and making the world a better place for healthy and sparkling relationships!

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