Guide to Becoming Miss Independent

Guide to Becoming Miss Independent
He broke your heart.  He left you stuck with paying the monthly rent and the big screen television that you didn’t even want to purchase in the first place.  What do you do now?  You are now a certified single woman who has no idea how to move on with life and recover from a separation. Becoming a single woman is not something that women predict ahead of time in order for them to prepare for its incoming impact; it just happens.  Although a few women admit to noticing early signs that their relationship isn’t the same as it used to be, no woman is ever prepared for the emotional changes that undergo when they are detached from someone that they once loved. For those newly single women out there who still have many lingering thoughts and questions about what life is like after becoming single, here’s a simple guide to help you in becoming Miss Independent.


How do I cope with becoming single?

Being a single woman in your late twenties, thirties, or early forties is not a big deal.  In today’s world, it’s no longer a surprise to know that there are large populations of women who are still single; either still looking for their soul-mate or happily contented with being alone.  Singlehood has gradually been accepted by people and they actually enjoy it too.  Singlehood allows you to be more independent, have freedom, and live by your own rules.

It may feel like a rollercoaster ride the few days or weeks, but you will soon learn to take pleasure in meeting new people, trying new things, develop your personality, and enhance your inner and outer beauty.  Coping with becoming a single woman won’t be as bad as you think.  Just be patient and you will eventually adapt to your new life.

independentWhat do I do now?

Live your life like you want to.  Becoming a single woman doesn’t not mean you should lock yourself in your apartment and never see daylight again.  This period in your life should be your chance to learn more about yourself and focus wholly on enhancing your way of life for the purpose of being more emotionally and mentally ready to start any future relationships.

Being single permits you to venture out into the world and explore new places and do things you normally weren’t able to do when you were in a committed relationship – go out and conquer the world!

Will I ever love again?

There is no doubt that you will have your chance at love again; it just takes a little more patience.  Don’t just jump into a new relationship shortly after ending an old one; doing this will not allow your emotions to heal and move on from the previous relationship.  Just relax and let love find you.  It’ll make its way back, but before it does, just make sure you are more mature to handle a relationship and in choosing your partner wisely.

Just like the many other unpredictable events that happen in our lives, we just have to pick ourselves up and learn to deal with whatever is thrown at us.  We may not be able to foresee what becoming a single woman’s life will be, but we should be rest assured that no matter what trials may come our way we will persevere and come out as a stronger and wiser independent woman.

About the author

Mae Davies

BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.