How to Determine if You Found Real Friendship

By Mae Davies / September 6, 2014
How to Determine if You Found Real Friendship

We meet all kinds of people in life.  Of course, you have your family, your acquaintances, your co-workers, your FB friends, and then you have your friends.  For working women, I’m sure you have found and made a lot of friends at work, obviously because you spend most of your time at work.  The question is how do you know who your real friends are?  Here are some signs that might help you determine if you have found real friendship with someone.

They stick with you at your worst

Your real friends will stay with you and love you even when you are at your most unlovable state.  Sure, they’ll slap you with the reality that you are awful and extremely annoying, but that doesn’t stop them from caring for you.  When you’re back to your usual self, your real friends will definitely find your tantrum something to laugh about.

They will bend over backwards for you

Real friendship requires effort.  If your friends don’t believe in exerting effort, ditch them.  Real friends will go out of their way just for you.  They won’t just think about their own convenience.  They will think about what’s going to be good for both of you.  In life, we get stuck in situations where we badly need help from friends and if you find people who are willing to take challenges and risks for you, treasure them.

They love to talk, but they also love to listen

You will never have forced conversations with real friends.  Real friends do not have problems talking about anything, but they also know when they need to stop talking and start listening.  Great communication is usually a sign of great friendship.  If your friend loves talking about himself but seems to show lack of interest in what you have to say, then you know your friendship isn’t real. real friendship

They make time for you

I’m not just talking about small talk over a cup of coffee.  While that is something extra nice for friendship, making time is also about just being there for a person, whether it’s through phone calls, texts, emails, or other kinds of communication.  When someone is there for you during your happy and sad times, you have found a real friendship.

They tell you the truth

And yes, even if it hurts.  When you mess up, they are there to tell you that you messed up.  And it’s not because they want to rub it in, but because they want you to know you made a mistake and that you shouldn’t do it again. When you don’t look good, you will definitely know about it.  Honesty is something very natural and it’s what makes friendships real.

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About the author

Mae Davies

BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.