How to Exude Confidence in Any Situation

How to Exude Confidence in Any Situation
Being the newbie – everyone’s been there at some point.  It may be because you just transferred to a new community or simply started a new job. Whichever the case is, being the new girl/boy in town can be challenging. There’s the constant fear that you won’t fit in your new environment, people won’t like you, or that you won’t be able to make friends. Well, all you have to do is simply follow these easy suggestions on how to exude confidence and you, as the newbie, will blend in and have friends in no time!

The newbie’s guide to exuding confidence in 6 easy ways

Being the newbie – everyone’s been there at some point.  It may be because you just transferred to a new community or simply started a new job. Whichever the case is, being the new girl/boy in town can be challenging. There’s the constant fear that you won’t fit in your new environment, people won’t like you, or that you won’t be able to make friends. Well, all you have to do is simply follow these easy suggestions on how to exude confidence and you, as the newbie, will blend in and have friends in no time!

  1. Stop worrying

It all starts with fear – the feeling of nervousness of having to meet new people and being in a new environment. Yes, of course it’s scary! Changes can be challenging, but you can lessen this by not worrying too much. Sometimes, people tend to overthink, which only results in even more anxiety.What you can do is take a deep breath, tell yourself that you’ll have a great time, muster every ounce of courage you can, and take it day by day. Stop worrying because it’s just a waste of time, and it won’t get you anywhere.

  1. Showcase your friendly face

Now, who would want to be with a person who frowns all the time? Or somebody who sulks in the corner and keeps to himself? To exude confidence, you must show other people that you’re actually interested in them. You can express this by always smiling, even at strangers, and having an all-around positive aura. This way, people will know that they can approach you anytime.

  1. Approach people

But having a friendly face is not enough. Even if you’re new, don’t hesitate to be the first one to approach others. Keep in mind that they may also be wary and nervous around you because they don’t know anything about you. You can change this by going to people you think are friendly or nice enough – maybe those who smile back at you – and ask if you could hang out with them. Remember, there’s no harm in trying.

  1. Engage in conversation

After approaching people, try to engage them in a conversation. Ask them about school or work, how things are going, etc. From there, they’ll feel more at ease and they’ll know that you’re interested in what they have to say. Also, they will see how confident you are with yourself.

  1. Be humble

Nobody likes an arrogant, know-it-all type of person, especially when it comes to newbies. Yes, it’s good to excel in school or work, but you can do it without having to show off. If you’re the new kid, just do your work well and keep humble. Don’t brag to your co-workers about how your boss was very impressed with your resume or how your teacher praised you after class. If people see that you’re excelling but still manage to keep your feet on the ground, they’ll eventually acknowledge you and you will not only earn their admiration but their respect as well. Remember that being humble doesn’t mean having low self-esteem. Humility means having enough self-confidence that you don’t have to brag about your talents and skills.

  1. Have an open mind

Finally, don’t judge your new situation or environment based on initial impressions alone.  You may assume that the people in your new community or school are not friendly, or even hostile towards you. You may even feel like you don’t belong in your new locale. But you must set aside this prejudice so you can easily adapt to your new situation. If you open your mind to the possibilities that your new environment can bring, you will definitely exude self-assurance and will naturally attract new acquaintances.

Any new environment can be frightening, but following this simple guide will show you that it can be fun and worthwhile as well. Don’t worry about blending in because once you learn how to exude confidence, you’ll see how easy it is to meet people, make new friends, and blend in no matter where you are!

The 2 Week Diet

Top 7 ways to exude confidence

Having a healthy dose of self-esteem is important for anyone to succeed.If you have faith in yourself and believe that you can succeed in anything that you set your heart to,then you can achieve it.You may want to accomplish some goals in certain aspects of your life – career,relationship,social life, education, etc. – and exuding self-confidence is vital towards realizing those goals.So how do you do it?Here are some tips that you can follow:

  1. Know yourself better
    Don’t mind what other people say about you. You should look deep inside yourself to know who you really are, what your true character is, what your principles in life are, andwhat you stand for.By appreciating yourself for who you are, you learn how to switch off external distractions and focus on being the best that you can be. You should also identify your strong points and focus on those. Resist comparing yourself to other people because you are truly unique as you are.They may be better at something else,but only you can do the things that you’re good at.Develop your strengths further, and in the process, you will also raise your confidence level.

    2. Look and act confident
    If you look good and feel good,then you will give the impression that you are a confident person.Take goodcare of your personal appearance – dress appropriately, practice good grooming, and adapt an exercise plan to keep yourself fit and healthy.Even if you have low self-esteem, try toact confident to give out the message to yourself and to other people around you that you are a self-assured person.

    3. Stay positive
    You should always keep a positive attitude, even if the odds are against you.By believing in yourself and your abilities, you will feel good about yourself and life in general.You should also practice self-affirmation to boost your confidence.Dismiss any negative thoughts.Say things to yourself like, “I can do anything,” “I am a wonderful person,” or “I look great and feel great.”Having positive thoughts is the first step towards manifesting what you want.

    4. Smile often
    Smiling, as opposed to scowling or pouting, instantly makes you and the persons around you feel better. It gives you that positive glow and makes you look confident and self-assured.So smile often and smile a lot!

    5. Challenge yourself
    It’s time to get out of your comfort zone! Challenge yourself to do things that you’ve never done before,or things that you have always wanted to try but you were afraid to do.Once you conquer these challenges, you will become more confident and sure of yourself. Give yourself some credit and believe that you can do anything that you set your mind to. Apply for your dream job, go bungee jumping, travel to exotic places, speak in public, or sign up for college or graduate school – it’s never too late to do anything. Go for it!

    6. Appreciate other people
    Only a confident person can recognize the success and value of other people. When you sincerely congratulate other people in their accomplishments, you are not only being considerate of them, but also, you are giving the impression that you are self-assured. So compliment others and give them kind words at every opportunity.

    7. Volunteer
    Share your knowledge and serve the people in your community to find purpose and meaning in your life. By volunteering for a cause that you are interested and experienced in, you are able to help other people. At the same time, you will gain self-confidence as you contribute to the well-being of others.

    Incorporate these tips in your daily life;practice them often so they become second nature to you. You will be surprised later on how you can naturally project self-confidence in any aspect or situation in your life.

6 tips to socialize with confidence

Meeting new people at various events and occasions is an integral part of our lives. For some people, especially those who are natural extroverts, socializing can be very exciting. But for shy and reserved persons, meeting other people can be overwhelming and intimidating. We may try to avoid it when we can, but there are times when socializing is absolutely necessary.It may be for work, on campus (acquaintance parties, meeting new professors and staff), at a wedding or birthday party of someone significant to you, or meeting your partner’s family for the first time. Socializing may be a daunting task, but the key to overcoming your social anxiety is to exude confidence during the occasion.By projecting self-confidence, you give the impression that you are comfortable in the situation and that you have a pleasant attitude.Here are some hints on how to exude confidence when socializing:

1. Dress for the occasion
You should dress appropriately according to the event that you are attending.If it’s a formal dinner, you should wear a formal gown (for ladies) or a suit and tie (for men).If it’s a casual party, wear smart casual clothes.Whatever the occasion is, it is important that you wear what’s comfortable and what looks good on you.Don’t wear something fancy or skimpy just to impress others; you will only look awkward and come off as trying too hard.Moreover, you should practice good grooming.You should not only look good wearing fashionable clothes, but you should also look clean and smell good as well.

2. Observe good manners and proper conduct
Be courteous and polite towards the other guests. Try to be pleasant during social events and avoid ‘stepping on other people’s toes’, so to speak.Try to put on your best behavior and ‘stay in good graces’ (especially) with the hosts.  If there is some disagreement during a conversation with someone, express your opinion tactfully and diplomatically so as not to offend other people. In addition, you should conform to some basic etiquette and behave appropriately around other people. For instance, you should cover your mouth or nose when coughing or sneezing; don’t belch when there are other people around;  know how to use the proper eating utensils at the dinner table; be generous with‘excuse me’, ‘please’, and ‘thank you’ when appropriate.A person who is well-mannered definitely exudes self-confidence.

3. Share your knowledge and insights
When meeting new people, it will be to your advantage if you are aware of the news and current affairs so you’ll have something to talk about or you can easily respond and carry on a conversation about current topics when asked.Try to read on the web or listen to the radio about what’s happening in the world.It is also beneficial in a social situation if you have several interests or hobbies that you can talk about.You can help someone who’s interested in it and give tips on how to start a hobby that you are already an expert in.By sharing your knowledge with other guests, you will be perceived as someone who is self-assured and generous.   

4. Smile and be friendly
Frowning and pouting will not earn you any friends, nor will anyone want to approach you.Unless you are deliberately avoiding any contact with other people, you should smile sincerely and look friendly when you are socializing. Smiling indicates that you are approachable, open, and sure of yourself.

5. Get real
Don’t pretend to be someone else; you must believe that people would like to know the real you and not the perfect version of yourself.Behave nicely and observe good manners, but stay true to who you are – witty, funny, outgoing or not, humorous, smart, etc. It is very important to come across as genuine and sincere.

6. Enjoy the moment
You are at the party (or any event for that matter) to meet new people and interact with them – so enjoy the moment (even if it’s work-related).Just go with the flow and relax.You will feel more relaxed and at ease, and that will make other people warm up to you.

Socializing with other people need not be a traumatic event;it’s something that should be appreciated and experienced.So go out there, have fun, and enjoy the company of others!

7 ways to exude confidence with your body language

You might not realize it, but your gestures and mannerisms say a lot about you.By just observing your body language, people can already deduce certain impressions about you – they can tell if you’re an introvert or extrovert, humble or arrogant, self-confident or insecure. There are certain moments when you need to convey confidence; it may be on a date, at a party, at a business meeting, orat a public speaking engagement.If you need to work on your confidence level, don’t worry;it just takes a little effort and practice to master the art of exuding confidence. Read on below for tips on how you can do it:

1. Observe proper posture
The first thing that people will notice about you is your posture. Always stand up straight and push your shoulders back a little bit.This simple action will make a big impact on projecting confidence. Practice this in front of the mirror until you do it out of habit.It may be difficult to do at first, especially if you are used to slouching, but you can do it with a little effort. Remember, don’t slouch! Always keep your spine erect; doing so is actually beneficial for your own health, according to studies.

2. Hands – what to do about them
Try not to fidget or make nervous movements with your hands. Fidgeting and fussing are signs that you are uncomfortable and tense. Also, keep your hands off your hair, your face, or your clothes.
Don’t put your hands inside your pockets (if you have them). This is also a sign that you are nervous and not feeling self-assured. Just try to relax and calm down. You may gesture with your hands to emphasize a point, but keep your movements to a minimum so as not to distract the other person.

3. Keep eye contact
Maintain eye contact
with the people you are talking to. This conveys the message that you are at ease in their company and that you are giving them importance. Resist staring though as that can make people feel uncomfortable in your presence. Long periods of staring are unnatural, and you may come off as having ‘psychopath’ tendencies if you stare at someone too long.

4. Don’t cross your arms
Don’t cross your arms when you are mingling with other people. We see this quite often and common in any gathering. This gesture actually suggests that you are on your guard and are being‘defensive’. You may also appear intimidating to some people. To seem approachable yet sure of yourself, relax your arms and your attitude.

5. Relax and smile
Release your tension and take it easy. Loosen up. You will seem more confident if you’re relaxed and calm.Smile and laugh when appropriate. Other people will be drawn to you if you are radiating positivity and happiness.

6. Keep your chin up
Don’t lower your head when talking to other people or even when you are walking alone.This gives the impression that you are vulnerable and unsure of yourself. Try to always keep your chin up and look straight ahead (when walking) or maintain eye contact (when talking to other people).

7. Maintain a positive attitude
Keeping a positive mind-set or outlook will show in your body language. And being positive implies being self-assured.So be optimistic at all times, and you will be amazed at how your self-confidence shines through.

Feeling ready to develop these habits? Don’t be overwhelmed; practice on one body language at a time until it becomes a habit. Just keep going and you will surprise yourself one day on how far you’ve come and what you’ve achieved just by practicing and incorporating these simple tips in your life.

How to exude confidence in a job interview

Your big opportunity has arrived: you have been scheduled for a job interview and you are eager to make a big impression to land your dream job. But you only have a few precious minutes to convince the interviewer that you are the best person for the job. So how do you do it? To make a strong impact on the interviewer or your potential employer, you must look and feel confident without appearing to be arrogant and cocky.Here are some tips on how you can exude self-confidence during your job interview:

1. Prepare yourself
Just like studying for an exam, you should also prepare for a job interview. Research facts about the company, what its mission and vision are, the status of the industry it is related with, and any other relevant information. Moreover, you should be able to identify your skills that will greatly contribute to the company’s growth and development. If you know what you’re talking about, it will be easy for you to project self-confidence and make a strong impact on the interviewer.

2. Dress for success
As they always say, first impressions last, so you should exert some effort into looking your best for the interview. Ladies should wear a business suit but keep jewelry to a minimum (earrings and necklace are enough). For men, wearing a suit and tie is appropriate. You should look like a professional all the time.If you have to wear perfume, use only the mildly-scented ones. You should not overwhelm the interviewer with your scent.Just to be on the safe side, go for a light scent if you have to use any perfume at all.

3. Proper body language
Without you even saying a word, your body language and non-verbal cues say a lot about you. Most interviewers observe your personality through your mannerisms and certain gestures. To appear confident, you should always observe proper posture.Practice this in front of the mirror.Don’t slouch, especially during the interview. Moreover, keep direct eye contact, offer a genuine smile and a firm handshake, and avoid crossing your arms during the interview.

4. Stay positive
If you adopt a positive attitude, you will definitely exude confidence during the interview. Dismiss your negative thoughts, even if you think that other applicants are more experienced than you or have advanced degrees.It is easier said than done, but believing in your abilities, despite the odds, can do a lot of good to your demeanor during the interview.

5. Ask relevant questions
Before your interview, prepare a set of questions that you would like to ask about the company or the potential employers.You may base the questions from the research you have done previously. By asking relevant and smart questions, the interviewer will get the impression that you are really interested in working for them.

By following these tips, you are sure to leave a lasting impact on the interviewer. You will be easily distinguished among the batch of applicants. However, be careful not to put on an act; don’t pretend to be someone that you are not because the interviewer can easily see through you. Just be your confident self during the interview and you’ll have the best chance to secure that dream job.

8 tips on how to exude confidence at work

It’s a highly competitive environment in the workplace. You always have to be at the top of your game in order to reap the rewards of your hard work. How do you stay on top, or basically, how do you survive in the corporate jungle? Exuding self-confidence is the key; it lets you get ahead of the pack. Your co-workers and employer will respect you, follow your lead, and will entrust you with important tasks. However, there are times when you are not so self-assured. During these moments of self-doubt, you may follow these suggestions to help you exude confidence at work:confidence

1. Act confidently
Even if you don’t feel like it, you must pretend that you are confident in yourself .By doing this, you will be able to convince others, and eventually yourself, that you are really self-assured. Remember that your thoughts are very powerful. They become real depending on how consistent your thoughts are. ‘Mind over matter’ as the expression goes; so make an effort to monitor your thoughts constantly and see whether they are serving you or not.

2. Never stop learning
When you have earned a degree, it doesn’t mean that you also stop learning.You should continue your quest for knowledge even if you are already working because knowledge is power, as they say,and knowledge goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence.If you know your work or your product by heart, you will feel secure with yourself and your worth. You may also take up formal short courses (with certificate of completion) to further boost your knowledge and credibility.There are many available courses online, and some of them are being offered for free. Be open to improving and developing yourself with no limitations whatsoever.

3. Speak your mind
Don’t always ‘go with the flow’, ‘follow the herd’,and do what everybody thinks should be done.If you have a different idea from the rest of the team, tell them.But make sure that your dissenting opinion or ‘non-conformist’ ideas are justified.If you really believe in something, even if it’s unpopular, try to say it with a lot of caution and care. They say that it matters not what we say but how we say it, so think about that. Speaking up, even though the idea ‘goes against the grain’ can show others that you can stand on your own, that you have the guts, and it might actually work for you in the end.

4. Practice self-affirmation
Believe in your abilities and skills and that you can achieve anything if you set your heart to it. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. So you better start appreciating yourself and arm yourself with optimism. It will also be easier for you to accept yourself and your talents if you practice self-affirmation everyday by saying positive things to yourself like, “I can do it,”“I am not afraid of failing,” or “I can be whatever I want to be”.

5. Get out of your comfort zone
Venture out and do other projects that you initiallythought were impossible to do. By accomplishing difficult tasks, you will be able to boost your self-esteem. Constantly challenge yourself to achieve career growth and development. We need to take risks if we want to achieve great results. Look at the story of ‘Noah’ from the bible and how he built the ark. You can draw inspiration from that and many other great characters who made the  ‘impossible’ possible.

6. Record your achievements
Monitor your daily achievements and record them.Knowing that you have accomplished something will make you feel good about yourself, no matter how ‘small’ or insignificant you may think they are. Also, keep a record of your work-related successes so you can refer to them later when you badly need self-validation or when feeling self-doubt.You may include in the record the milestones you have achieved, your unique work accomplishments, letters of appreciation from your boss or employer, and other recognition or awards. Even love letters that show much how you’re appreciated by others. We all can benefit from reminders once in a while.

7. Dress for success
The term ‘power dressing’ implies that you have to dress for success. Taking care of your appearance and dressing smartly will surely give you a confidence boost. How you dress will reflect your outlook and confidence level. You have to give the impression to your co-workers that you are powerful but respectable at the same time. So invest in your wardrobe wisely; it will be well worth it. When it comes to wardrobe, ‘quality over quantity’ really applies. Invest in classic pieces that you’ll be able to use for many years, not just one season.

8. Be friendly and approachable
It never hurts to gain a friend in the workplace. Always smile sincerely at your co-workers (and even your boss) at the right occasion.Being friendly and approachable suggests that you’re a happy, open, and confident person. People will naturally gravitate towards you if you have a pleasant attitude. You may just surprise yourself that you have developed a true friendship at work, in a highly competitive environment.

Exuding self-confidence at work will definitely help advance your career. With a little effort and practice, you will achieve the professional success that you rightfully deserve.

How to exude confidence in your presentations in 5 easy ways

Whether you’re still in school or part of the workforce, presenting campaigns, proposals, and projects is definitely no easy task. Some people may seem naturally endowed with the talent for words and swaying their audience. How do they do it? Well, exuding confidence is the key! So if you’re looking to hone your presentation skills, take a look and find out how to exude confidence in five easy ways:

1. Be prepared

First and foremost, research is very essential in being able to make a powerful presentation.You must be knowledgeable in the topic that you will be presenting. Once you know what you’ll be talking about, get right on it and research, research, and research some more! Another thing about being prepared is having a careful layout of what you want to talk about and how you want to talk about it. So after researching, create an outline of your presentation – how you’ll start it andhow it should end.

2. Don’t cram

Distraction is everywhere. No matter where you are, the temptation to procrastinate and save the work for later can be strong. There are your friends you can chit chat with, there’s your smart phone waiting to be checked on, and of course, there’s the internet where you can play games, check your social networking sites, etc.So what do you do in a world full of distractions? There’s no other way but to motivate yourself! Think of the things you need to do and do them right away. Then, once you’re done with your work, you can have all the distractions you want. Another way you can go about this is by giving yourself a “reward” in between. Say, once you’re 25% done,you can give yourself a 10-minute break. The important thing is pacing yourself and not cramming.

3. Know your presentation by heart

If you’re finished putting up the whole presentation, then it’s time to know it by heart. Understanding your presentation and what you’re talking about will let people see that you actually know your topic and that you are confident in what you are saying. If they see this, they’ll be more inclined to believe you. So practice it from start to finish, know every aspect, and think of possible questions that your audience might ask. Writing a script can also help so that you’ll have an idea of what you have to say for each slide. However, make sure not to make it too formal. When presenting, keep in mind that people are more engaged in a conversation, so keep your language light and casual.

4. Get a good night’s sleep

Again, stop with the cramming. There are those who opt to stay up all night, finishing their work because they say they work better at night. Still, getting a good night’s sleep will help you remember your lines and presentation. A stressed mind is more prone to memory block, which can definitely cause trouble on your day of presenting. Keep your mind at ease and go get some rest after a hard day’s work because you deserve it and you need it.

5. Review your notes

On presentation day, don’t forget to eat a complete and healthy breakfast to get you pumped up.Also, make sure to give some time for reviewing your notes and maybe one round of practice, and you’ll be good to go.

With these five steps, you’ll be sure to ace that presentation you’ve prepared for! Just remember, confidence is the key. If you know that you’ve prepared for it and worked hard on it, then there’s no reason for you to doubt yourself.

9 ways to exude confidence on a date

Going on a date may be exciting for some, but for others who lack self-esteem, it can be terrifying.You may worry about awkward moments, blunders, saying the wrong things, or showing your nervousness.It may take several dates before you find the right person, but this should not dishearten you. Dating should be fun and stress-free!To help you exude confidence on a date and enjoy that special moment, here are some tips that you can follow:

1. Plan in advance
As much as possible, know your date’s interests and hobbies before your scheduled meet-up in order to avoid awkward silences. If that’s not possible, think of fascinating topics that you can talk about comfortably. Know in advance the exact location of your meeting place so you can plan for your route accordingly.This is so you will arrive at the venue on time. Being punctual and not stressing about being late will boost your confidence on the big night (or day).

2. Dress appropriately
Make sure that what you wear is appropriate for the venue of your date.If it’s an upscale restaurant, wear simple but classy clothes.If it has a laidback atmosphere, opt for smart, casual clothes.Whenever the venue is, remember to wear what’s comfortable for you so you won’t feel uneasy. Some may opt to ‘dress to impress’ but resist going over the top. It is equally unadvisable to be overdressed as it is to be underdressed for an event. Do your research before the date.

3. Practice good hygiene
Your appearance reflects your personality. You wouldn’t want to give the impression that you are a sloppy person, so pay attention to good grooming and proper hygiene.Brush and floss your teeth, trim your nails, etc.  Make sure that you look clean and smell good. If you want to bag a second date with this person, make an effort in this area. Keep mints or breath fresheners handy, especially if you’re out going for drinks.

4. Maintain proper posture
This point needs to be emphasized – practice good posture at all times. Posture is the first thing that people will notice about you, and this hints at your confidence level. Always remind yourself not to slouch!Stand tall and erect; push back your shoulders a little bit for a burst of confidence.

5. Be aware of your body language
Your non-verbal cues also reveal a lot about your character. Even if you haven’t said a word yet, your gestures and mannerisms will say a lot about you. Be conscious of your movements and mannerisms.Especially when you’re trying to impress someone, strive to act deliberately, precisely, and sure-footed all the time. Some suggestions on how to observe proper body language during your date: keep eye contact, don’t fuss or fidget with your hands, don’t swing your feet, and smile when appropriate.

6. Pay attention to your date
Listen well to what your date has to say about him/herself. Avoid taking over the conversation and talking about yourself all the time; you will seem nervous and insecure. A confident person does not control the whole conversation and is able to sincerely listen to what the other person is talking about. If you want to see this person again, make sure you show them how interested you are about them and their life.

7. Show your concern and attentiveness 
You can show your concern for your date by remembering specific details about your conversation, such as his/her birthplace, hobbies, work-related matters, names of family members, school graduated from, and other important details. Your date can lose interest if you behave as if you’re not listening to them.

8. Don’t forget to have fun
You’re on a date to enjoy the company of someone you like and to know that person better. So don’t forget to have fun! You may be overwhelmed with worry that your date won’t be perfect. If this is the case, then try to adopt a positive attitude to lessen your anxiety. Try to savor the moment – your date’s warm laugh, witty remarks, caring attitude, nice sense of humor, the perfect night, etc.After all, moments like these may never be recaptured.

9. Be courteous 
Always be polite when dealing with other people around you during your date. How you treat other people will reveal your true character, and your date will not fail to notice your behavior in public. A self-confident person is well-mannered and respectful to others, even towards the service crew.

Bear these tips in mind and you’re sure to have a successful date.It may not lead to a romantic relationship right away, but the important thing is you can practice being comfortable in social settings and learn something from the experience at the same time.

Top 10 ways to be confident while being in a relationship

Radiating  and projecting self-confidence is important for you to maintain a healthy and successful relationship with your significant other.Having a sense of your own self-worth will make you desirable to your partner; and consequently, your relationship will last longer and may even result in making you both feel confident to take it to the next level. But what if you have low self-esteem to begin with? Or you have been hurt in your previous relationships and you no longer have faith in yourself anymore? Here are some suggestionson how to ditch insecurity and some tips on how to exude confidence while being in a relationship:

1. Have your own activities and pursuits
In order to maintain your own identity and dignity in a relationship; you must keep doing the things that you love.Continue pursuing your interests and hobbies: go on and earn your degree, tend to your garden, aim for that promotion at work, or travel by yourself or whatever it is you were setting your sights on. Being with someone doesn’t mean you have to give up on your goals and make your other half the center of your universe. That is the fastest way to lose them! It is also good for the relationship if you involve your partner in your activities. Do something together to strengthen your bond. For instance, travel together to places where you haven’t visited before or go on hiking trips.

2. Have faith in yourself
Believe in your own skills and abilities. Trust that you can do anything if you just work hard to achieve it. By having faith in yourself, you become more attractive to your partner.

3. Look good, feel good
To keep fit and healthy, maintain a regular workout regimen. By exercising, you will not only look good, but you can also be stress-free because of the “feel-good” hormones (endorphins) released during exercise.Also, take good care of your appearance (dressing, grooming) because this reflects your personality and confidence level.You wouldn’t want to look messy and shabby either in public or inside your own home. Even if you are already in a relationship, you should still look appealing to keep the passion alive. Don’t ‘slack off’ and take for granted your appearance and health just because you get so ‘comfortable’ in the relationship.

4. Be independent and self-reliant
Don’t allow yourself to become dependent on your partner, whether emotionally, financially, or physically. Don’t become a shadow or just a blur in the background. Being your own free-spirited self makes you more fascinating and appealing to your partner.Moreover, you might be taken for granted if you are too dependent, clingy, and insecure.

5. Trust your partner
Don’t monitor your partner’s phone calls, emails, text messages, or social media accounts. It will only make you look suspecting, doubtful of your partner, and insecure of the relationship. Trust is important if you want a meaningful and lasting relationship. If you are having trust issues, then this should be discussed in the open with your partner. Snooping is unacceptable and really unnecessary if you are in a good and stable relationship.

6. Unload emotional baggage
Don’t let painful experiences or hurtful rejections from the past affect your current relationship. If you still have insecurities from the past that you are carrying around, now is the best time to let go of them. Let go of the past so you will be able to live fully in the present. The best way is to ‘get it off your chest’ by talking about it; share it with your partner. They should be your no.1 confidante in any matter. Resist ‘bottling up’ anger and or any supposedly negative emotion, they need to be released and fast.

7. Practice self-affirmation
Don’t wallow in negative thoughts; instead, focus on you and your partner’s positive qualities. When you find yourself thinking about how lucky you are that you were chosen by your partner, replace it with self-affirmation like “I deserve my partner” or “I’m a wonderful person, and I deserve to be in a wonderful relationship.”

8. Don’t tolerate bad behavior
Your partner should always be polite and courteous towards you. You should be treated with respect and kindness that you rightfully deserve. Never accept the unacceptable and let yourself be treated badly as this can be damaging to your self-esteem.

9. Be direct and straightforward
If you are concerned with something in your relationship, or if you are troubled or upset with something that your partner did, tell him/her right away. By being frank and direct, your partner will have a high opinion of you. Resist ‘beating around the bush’ and go to the heart of the issue. Your partner will appreciate it.

10. Don’t keep secrets
To enhance your intimacy and trust in each other, you should disclose to your partner everything that you think is worth sharing about you, including your deep, dark secrets and even ‘embarrassing’ moments. Maintaining honesty and openness is essential to make any relationship work.

Learn these tips by heart and practice them often.In due course, you will find yourself in a relationship thatwill be fulfilling and rewarding for both you and your partner.

About the author

Mae Davies

BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.