How To Exude Confidence Without Being Arrogant

How To Exude Confidence Without Being Arrogant
There is nothing worse than a person who is egotistical and arrogant, thinking he is better than everyone else and can’t stop telling the whole world how awesome he is.  At some point, we all want to let the people around us know just how valuable we, too, are.  But then we risk being grouped in the same category as the egotistical and arrogant people.  The secret lies in how to exude confidence with humility.  Of course, in times of achievement, great or small, we are tempted to remind the world just how awesome we really are.  We want to replay to anybody willing to listen the smart decisions we had to make and why we made them, displaying our own proven logic.  But then there’s a thin line between exuding confidence and being arrogant.  We explore the ways:

Be objective about your accomplishments

Everyone has selling points about themselves and it’s good that you recognize your own selling points.  But when it’s time for you to talk about these personal selling points, be objective about it.  Let the person decide for himself how awesome you are, don’t say that aloud for him.  How to exude confidence is not about telling the world literally how awesome and great you are; that will only cement people’s perception of you as arrogant.  Arrogance comes from a place of insecurity; only offer what you truly can deliver.  Arrogant people talk about their accomplishments and possessions to get attention from other people.  Speak honestly and objectively about your own accomplishments with a genuine purpose – to answer an inquiry, to let a potential employer know what you have to offer, or to attract a guy you’ve been eyeing.

Don’t take all the credit

When talking about your accomplishments, give credit to the people who have helped you, whether their contribution was fundamental or otherwise.  You don’t have to enumerate everyone who has contributed something to your success.  But don’t say that you achieved it all by yourself either.  Nothing speaks more of a person’s confidence than crediting the contribution of his team or the support of family/friends for his own success.  Instead of saying “I run a very successful company,” saying something like “I lead a successful company with an amazing team” has a way of exuding confidence without being arrogant.  You will earn people’s respect when you display humility.  Acknowledging other people’s help while talking about your own accomplishments is crucial in exuding confidence but not arrogance.  Arrogant people overuse the word “I”, “My,” and “Mine.”

Admit you’re imperfect

Even the most successful people know that they, too, have their own weaknesses.  It does not mean that you are incapable of less or are any less than anybody; it only means that you are humble enough to identify your weaknesses and confident enough to admit them.  Arrogance can never admit shortcomings; after all, arrogance is a cover-up for insecurity.  Admitting your own imperfections, contrary to what many think, is a way to exude confidence.  Being able to acknowledge your imperfections in front of people not only shows your strength and security in yourself but also makes you relatable and people tend to respect you for it.

exude confidenceDon’t be flashy

Sure, every woman enjoys the luxury of a designer dress, a wonderfully made purse, a pair of killer heels, or the luminous glint of a pair of diamond dangle earrings.  It’s not to say that you deprive yourself of the wonderful fruits of your labour and smarts has afforded for you.  But you don’t have to come to work decked in head-to-toe monograms.  Nor would you want to attend a company brunch wearing the complete set of chandelier earrings and a cascading necklace dripping in an ostentatious amount of diamonds.  Dress modestly and appropriately.  Save the platform killer heels for a night out with the ladies or the statement jewelry for an appropriate occasion like a black-tie affair.  Take this note on how to exude confidence.  You don’t have to be flashy and gaudy to prove your worth; truly confident people don’t feel the need to.

How to exude confidence without being arrogant is knowing your true self-worth.  It is not about how much money you have made and are making, nor is it about your numerous accomplishments; it is knowing what you are capable of and identifying your strengths as well as admitting your weaknesses.  Arrogance is talking loudly and boastfully of your own self-importance and should be avoided.

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About the author

Mae Davies

BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.