In Your 30s? Here’s How You Can Navigate The Dating Scene

Business Ideas For Newlywed CouplesLife in your 20s was carefree and mostly easy. You were hot, healthy and a helluva good time.

Lots of things were easy when you were in your 20s including dating.

Your thirties are different. In many ways things are easier. You’re more confident. You don’t make (too many) immature mistakes. And you have a pretty good head on your shoulders.

Where it gets complicated is when you are still single and in the dating scene. It’s hard to juggle all of your life’s responsibilities and still find the right guy.

Here’s a quick guide on how to go about dating in your 30s.

1 – Be clear ahead of time about what you want

Take some time to really evaluate what you are looking for in a partner. Start with the traits you are looking for in a guy. Write them down if it is helpful. 

Focus on the traits you want in a man. Don’t focus on the negatives as you will end up seeing red flags everywhere. If you are looking for the things you like then you will know it when you see it. If you don’t see what you are looking for then you don’t even have any reason to go further.

Also, decide on what you want for a relationship. Nobody has time for the friend zone so it is best to be clear with yourself if you are looking for long term or somebody fun to pass the time with.

2 – Be yourself, unapologetically

When you are in your thirties you have a good idea of who you are, but might have trouble portraying that.

Whoever you are, just be that. Be the person you feel like you are. Even with all your faults. You don’t have to pretend at all. It is way more effective to be the what you see is what you get type than to try to win over the guy looking to date young models when you are far from being that type.

3 – Be open to somebody outside your type

This shouldn’t come across as meaning that you can’t be picky anymore because you’re in your thirties. It’s more about the fact that there is no ideal gy or perfect mate. You may be determined to find a guy that’s a lawyer and has a 6 pack, but be open to the electrician that has a heart of gold if that is who you come across.

Be open minded and you may just find your soul mate in an unexpected package.

4 – Don’t rush

You feel your biological clock ticking, I get it. You feel like the longer it takes to find the right guy the less of a chance you have of finding him. Well, it’s better to wait to find the right guy than to rush into a relationship doomed to fail and be divorced ten years later.

Take it slow until you have a good feeling and then move in that direction. If it doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t.

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Ava Moore
BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.

I'm the Chief Editor here at Independent Femme and would love to hear from you.

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