Is She Your True Friend?

By Mae Davies / August 10, 2014

No woman is an island.  We can’t possibly survive in this world if we’re all alone.  Just imagine eating your meals, shopping, going to the movies, and going through a happy or a devastating stage in your life all alone.  I can’t even picture how boring and how difficult this kind of life would be! Having a friend is one of life’s greatest gifts.  It’s a very wonderful thing to have someone whom you can share all the things that are going on in your life, to have someone whom you can hang out with, whom you can just have fun, go crazy, and be gaga with without worrying what that person would think of you.  But are you sure that your BFF is not fake?  How would you know that she’s really your true friend?

Is She Your True Friend


“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”

― Sarah Dessen

She accepts you for who you are 

A true friend would accept you for who you are.  She wouldn’t force you to become someone else just so that you two can remain good friends.  She understands that you have your own quirks and perks and that some of these may be different with that of hers.  She also won’t force you to change yourself, except if it’s for your own good and betterment. 

She’s not a big gossiptrue friend

A true friend is someone who does not have a big mouth.  You two may love to have some juicy gossip about people on your spare time and once in a while, but it’s different if you have a friend who always loves to gossip.  If she loves gossiping too much about people, it’s likely that she may be gossiping about you too when you’re not around.  If she loves to talk trash, then it’s also most likely that she would talk bad things about you once you turn your back.  With a friend like this, you’ll surely have some trust issues, and that would take a toll on your friendship.

She won’t lie to you 

Honesty is one of the marks of true friendship.  True friends don’t lie to each other.  For example, if you’re wearing a dress that you love, which unfortunately doesn’t love you back that much, your friend would tell you that it doesn’t look good on you rather than blatantly lie and tell you that you look so gorgeous wearing it.  It would be better that she tell the truth even if it hurts you now than lie about it and in the end make you a laughing stock in front of everyone else.

You have continuing communication with each other

Communication is the key to every relationship, including friendship.  Even if you’re both very busy with your own lives, a true friend always finds time to hang out with you and catch up.  Even if you have your own work and you have your own different individual careers, you’re still updated with what’s going on in each other’s lives. 

She’s there for you through thick and thin

The most important trait of a true friend is that she’s not only there for you during your highs but also during your lows.  If you’re going through a very hard time and she’s there for you, it just goes to show that she’s genuinely concerned about you. She not only supports you during your good times, but she’s actually there for you during the bad times.  If your friend is someone like that, then she’s surely a keeper.


“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.”

Jon Katz

About the author

Mae Davies

BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.