If you ever tried flirting in a bar or a club, or at the table visiting your friends for dinner, you know that it’s an art requiring a lot of thought, practice and walking on egg shells. Although it depends on what men you find attractive, of course.
If men you are naturally drawn to also attract a lot of other girls’ eyes, then the game can be tough.
However, thanks to online dating (check here) awkwardness of making the first step is somewhat limited, so online is a very good place to practice and test a few techniques which you can then take off line to that much anticipated dinner at your friends’.
In our digital age, here are some simple tips to help you upgrade your online flirting game.
It can be anything, but the best way to approach it is by looking carefully at his profile. Did he share any embarrassing stories you could want to learn more about? Did he have an interesting set up on the background of his profile photo? Did he opt out for a plain, no text profile all together?
Before you stress about having to make a joke that isn’t offensive or lame look for things that aren’t there – by making a funny pokey comment about something that he didn’t have on his profile you won’t come across as offensive and, more importantly, open up a window of conversation opportunity.
You could also send a comment on how his profile made you notice it, and then finish with a funny self-reflection. Again, this will help the guy respond with a kind and potentially flirtatious message, and you will definitely know that he at least cares!
Using his profile to find something you have in common, will instantly break the ice and make you two connect better. But remember that it won’t be enough to just state the obvious hobby interests that are the same.
You will need a bit more creativity. Find something you did that he mentions in his profile. Ideally, dig out a photo of you doing the said activity (as long as it’s appropriate) and add it to your own profile before messaging him. If you look great on the pic you will be guaranteed a positive response.
As a woman, you need to be cautious about the guys you meet online – no news here, of course. Asking to exchange your Facebook details is a good way to see who the guy is outside his dating profile. You might even find that you have friends in common.
If he is in his mid twenties and over chances are he has a very useful Facebook profile – it will hold memories and stories all the way from high school, through his college years and early career. You can e-meet his family and close friends through tagged photos and see what kind of a guy he is by looking at the posts he shared over the years.
If you spot red flags – go with your gut and abandon hope he could still turn out right for you because he is so cute! No. Never happens. If you see things you don’t like about him on a profile he shares with everybody in his life, chances are super slim that he would be a good fit for you.
But you might browse around his friends’ profiles and if you see someone you like, you could send them that funny first message.
You most likely won’t need to go for the full on asking him to a date, if he likes you, he will probably ask you out first. But if he doesn’t, suggesting to grab a beer after work in a mid-way location between your work places, or meeting for a coffee at lunch time in a weekend.
Try finding a coffee shot close to your best friend’s place to see her afterwards to share your experience – good or bad, she will be there for you. Hang on to that thought, it will help you stay relaxed and confident (you best moral support is just around the corner!) on the date, helping you to seal the deal with the guy if you like him in real life. Happy people are more attractive, so don’t hold back on your laughter!
I'm a Dating Senior Writer at Independent Femme. I'm famously indecisive and love to write about love, marriage, and making the world a better place for healthy and sparkling relationships!