Tips for Living with Your Loved One

How to Help Your Partner and Your Best Friend Get AlongAccording to a 2016 study by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, living together, or cohabitation has become a common pathway to marriage, with 66 percent of married couples having lived together before tying the knot.

If you and your loved one are in that majority, perhaps having just purchased a home together among Cincinnati real estate or somewhere else, or you’re planning to rent a place together for the first time, no matter how much you care about them, there are going to be some difficulties that arise. These tips can help make living with your loved one more of a joy than a frustration.

Discuss How You’ll Handle Chores

If you’re a fan of the show “Big Bang Theory” you probably recall the roommate agreement. While you don’t have to go as far as creating a written agreement, you should at least talk things out so that you both know what to expect. Who’s going to take out the garbage, wash the dishes, clean the bathroom and so on? Will you go grocery shopping and cook meals together? Figure out a way to fairly divide the labor so that it feels fair to both of you. You may want to at least create some kind of schedule too. If you find it’s not working out, you can always negotiate as you go but you’ll at least have a good starting point.


Money is something that breaks up many couples whether they’re married or unmarried. To avoid financial arguments and other problems related to money, sit down together and come up with a weekly or monthly budget, taking into consideration your combined income and expenses. It doesn’t have to be split down the middle if one of you earns significantly more money. The important thing is to come to an agreement on how finances will be managed.

Furnishings and Décor

It’s common for partners to have opposite tastes when it comes to decorating a new home. The key is to compromise. Discuss how you can incorporate pieces of both your own unique styles when it comes to furniture – one shouldn’t totally dominate the other. Assuming you both already have your own “stuff,” make sure you don’t move in unnecessary items, filling up valuable space with two of the same things. Take inventory of everything -and be even when it comes to getting rid of and keeping personal items – again, it’s all about compromise. As the bed is where you’ll spend the most collective time, that is important to agree on as far as comfort level and style, if you don’t like his or hers, or vice-versa, you might want to search for a new one so that it’s just right for both of you.

Create Your Own Alone Space

Each person should have their own space where they can have time alone in the house. While some may be lucky to have a large enough house where they can each have their own room along with a room that’s theirs together, that’s probably not realistic for most so it can simply to a quiet corner of a room with a favorite chair and favorite personal items such as photos.

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Ava Moore
BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.

I'm the Chief Editor here at Independent Femme and would love to hear from you.

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