When Actions Speak Louder than Words

By Mae Davies / January 7, 2015
When Actions Speak Louder than Words

While words can describe what you feel and what you want to say, actions can speak volumes about what you really feel and what you really want to say.  You might be doing some of these actions subconsciously without any kind of malice whatsoever, but you may be saying something else because of your actions.  Here are some things you may be doing that convey a different meaning. 

Crossing arms 

Crossing your arms during conversations or arguments can mean that you are building a barrier between you and whomever you are speaking with.  You’re not comfortable with whatever you are faced with, and your instinct is to protect yourself.

Pointing fingers

Not only is this considered rude, but you are definitely accusing the person you are talking to, especially when you’re in a heated conversation with a person. actions


This shows your boredom and lack of interest.  Slouching is also an effect of bad posture, which can definitely affect your overall look and your confidence.

Not making eye contact

One of the most common mistakes you can do is to not make eye contact.  This can signify a lot of things – you are intimidated, you are shy, you are not telling the truth, or you are just making up stories about what you are talking about. 

Raising your eyebrows

Definitely something I need to work on.  My left eyebrow automatically jumps up despite my efforts to not say anything when I hear something totally ridiculous or fishy.  So even when you say “okay,” but you have your eyebrows raised, that means you might be trying to say something else.


This can be a sign of restlessness, stress, or nervousness.  People mask their feelings by squirming and fidgeting.  They also can’t stop their hands from playing with anything they can get their hands on just to divert their attention. 

These are just a few mistakes that a lot of people are making.  Are you guilty of any of these?  If you are, then make sure to break away from these habits. 

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About the author

Mae Davies

BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.