Why There’s Nothing Wrong With Dating Based on Race

interracial datingThanks to the Internet, we can now select for potential romantic partners by just about any identifiable trait out there.

One such trait is, of course, race. There are many different services out there that explicitly exist to connect people of different races and ethnicities. Whether you’d like to meet single black men on interracial dating central or find someone with a particular heritage that’s more associated with traits you find desirable, there’s a website out there for you. The problem is some people consider it shallow to date along specific racial lines, or specifically exclude large swaths of the population simply for not being the race they prefer. We’re here to tell you there’s nothing wrong with using online services that select for race and here’s why: 

You’re allowed to like what you like.

Certain parts of the world are associated with certain physical features. There’s no doubt about that. Women from South America are associated with a more voluptuous figure, while women from Asia tend to be more petite. A human being has a minimal choice in what they personally find sexually attractive by the time they’re fully developed, so there’s no shame in picking a partner that’s exactly what you’d like inside and out. In fact, it’s arguably more insulting to date someone solely because of social pressure. It keeps you from dating someone you’d be more satisfied with. There’s no shame in going for exactly what you’d want, even if race factors into that decision.

Broaden your horizons.

We’re not going to speak like people from different races are always going to be exotic and completely different from what you’re used to. If the person you’re dating has grown up in the same town as you for their whole life, chances are you’ll be more similar than you’re different, but there are still some noticeable differences you might not have been privy to previously. The sensibilities of another race, as well as their unique perspective on the world that they’ve absorbed from family traditions, could be precisely the breath of fresh air you’ve been looking for in a relationship. Think of selecting partners based on race as a freeing experience as opposed to a constricting one.

Have a more balanced relationship.

The differences shared in an interracial couple can actually plug certain holes left by one partner’s culture, which can make for a much more unified family unit overall. If two couples that have complementary cultural norms that are at least in some way connected to racial differences marry, that will make for a stronger relationship that’s much more able to weather the test of time. What might typically be a dealbreaker for someone dating within their own race could be an irreplaceable trait for another.

Conclusion

Nobody has the right to dictate who you date or why. If the only reason why you want to date someone of a certain race is that you want to, that’s a good enough explanation. You don’t need to justify your thoughts to anyone else. As long as your relationship is loving, healthy, and happy, there should be little regard for all of the small details.

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Ava Moore
BA, MA Psychology (and Conflict Resolution), University of Cambridge (2007). With a decade of trial and error in psychology and 33 years of navigating my own complex (that's one word for it!) relationships with family, friends, co-workers and men, I hope I have some useful knowledge and skills to share with my readers about making sense of relationships and trying to become a better person every day.

I'm the Chief Editor here at Independent Femme and would love to hear from you.

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