How To Ace Challenges Of Online Dating

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Online dating is so popular it is overtaking most singles’ lives! Why? Because it works – people do meet each other online (visit this site, for example) and even get married. I met my husband on one of those sites, and we will be married two years this September.

But. To stay safe and avoid making regrettable mistakes, there are a few things you should know, before diving in.

Don’t fall for his lies

Until you see the guy face to face, you can’t evaluate how tall or honest or (not) bold he is based on just a few pictures. Online dating prompts many of us try to show ourselves in the best (and a better) light. Of course, just like in the real life we put on our best outfits and head out to bars to meet each other, online we make our profiles look good.

According to OpinionMatters, about 53% of US online daters lied in their online dating profile. But the caveat is that it was women who lied a bit more than men, usually about their looks. Some posted photos taken way back. Almost half of men, however, lied about their careers and achievements.

But isn’t so bad – if you wear make up, you are also just trying to make yourself look better, not much harm done there. However, if he lied about a few things on his profile and you found out from his social media accounts that he isn’t entirely honest, can he be lying about other things? See this mortifying scene from He’s Just Not That Into You:

If you catch him on some major not-OK lies, the best thing to do is just move on. Sending an angry complaint to the dating site email won’t really do any good, so just count your loses and be proud of the fact that it ended before even beginning.

Be super upfront about what you want

Men seem to assume that if a woman is dating online she is up for just sex. It is more common for men to share that they are online for one night stands; women who are looking for relationships are misunderstood. Although there are are plenty of guys online looking for a relationship, many still only look for their next sexual triumph.

Make it very clear on your profile that you are looking for the right guy to be happy with, not a guy to make you happy one night and be gone the next morning.

The challenge is to not seem too needy. The best way to avoid waisting time with men who aren’t into relationships are to see their social media profiles and judge from there, as well as answer many of your online dating website questions in a way that it is clear that you are not interested in just some action between the sheets.

Learn to deal with rejections

We grew up facing rejections on occasions. Hey, some of us were so lucky – they never were rejected romantically. But online dating is more like sending lots of CVs straight after university trying to get a good entry-level job. Most of those come back as rejections.

To avoid disappointment, think of your current achievements and just accept the fact that among millions of single men on your dating site, many won’t be into you. There is nothing wrong with that – who can be liked by everyone?

How do you choose?

Remember the last time you googles best watch for sport, or best camera for travel, or something else ‘best..’? The reason for the rise of best searches online is the fact that we have lots of options for everything these days.

Finding that significant other is no exception. In fact, with a growing popularity of online dating apps and sites, we get deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole of never ending choices.

To know when to be happy with your choice is a skill kinds need to learn in primary schools these days, just to survive ever growing number of choices and decisions they will face every single day when they grow up. Psychology Today has a good round up on being happy with your decisions. Apparently the best thing about commitment is we stop comparing alternatives, and finally enjoy the person we have found!

Try not to grow judgmental

Be prepared that all these choices can take a tall on you and make you picky, full of yourself and even judgemental. Like, Miranda Hobbs kind of judgemental. So before you end up like this, stop yourself!

Did you know that the US Association of Psychological Science found that “reviewing multiple candidates causes people to be more judgmental, and inclined to dismiss a not-quite-perfect candidate than they otherwise would be in a face-to-face meeting”?

How horrid is that? Just think about it for a minute: you came across a person, absolutely perfect for you, and you ignore them because your brain is too busy judging and nitpicking!

There are over 50 million singles online trying their luck in finding love (or sex). Of course this is overwhelming. Think a typical Chinese take out with a Bible-thick menu – remember how intimidating that is? Now you online dating live will be millions of these menus! You need to navigate them strategically and with a clear head.

You can’t control thoughts that land between your eyers, by you can acknowledge judgments and try to not to overindulge with being picky. Have a set list of criteria and stick with it. Ensure you give yourself (and that cute guy) a fair chance.

The grass really isn’t greener, we just imagine it to be.

About the Author Erin Lane

I'm a Dating Senior Writer at Independent Femme. I'm famously indecisive and love to write about love, marriage, and making the world a better place for healthy and sparkling relationships!

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