Relationship Deal Breakers [The Definitive Guide – Updated For 2019]

We’re going to take an ion-depth look at some of the very worst relationship deal breakers in this post. Hopefully you don’t recognize any in yourself or your partner, but even if you do, we have help for that, too!

First, let’s take a look at the guys.

Seven Bad Habits of Guys That Are Major Relationship Deal Breakers

You may think that all relationship deal breakers are about loss of affection or unfaithfulness. Some are actually bad lifestyle choices and bad habits of guys that just can’t be endured in the long run.

Alcoholism.

Who wants to stay in a relationship with someone who’s always wasted? Take note; this is different from casual drinking in a bar to have fun with friends. You probably have been in such social drinking situations; and of course, a lot of people drink beer or whisky, whatever liquor they prefer. However, engaging in frequent drinking sprees and always reeking of alcohol are bad habits of guys that is a major relationship deal breakers.

No one will like to be around you if you’re intoxicated most of the time. One reason is that you smell of alcohol all the time, and two, you can’t think and talk straight.

Smoking cigarettes.

Men who smoke a lot tend to lose girlfriends quickly or, at least, tend to lose the good ones and end up with women who are also frequent smokers. People who smoke a lot suffer from bad breath and various health problems that make them unfit for long-term relationships. Along with alcoholism, this insidious – bad habits of guys is one of the unhealthy relationship deal breakers. People (both men and women) who smoke usually don’t look as healthy and attractive as those who don’t.

Drug addiction.

It’s not easy living with someone who is addicted to drugs. Some people go all the way to help these troubled individuals, but most of us would rather have them seek the help of professional counselors or send them to rehab. This isn’t to humiliate drug addicts, it’s because they need help. It doesn’t matter whether it’s their choice or they have a genetic predisposition to addiction. However, it’s not your fault, either, if you don’t wish to endure a difficult life with someone who has this problem.

All forms of substance addiction are relationship deal breakers. They often lead to divorce in married couples. Your boyfriend’s drug addiction will have serious consequences fory our relationship, causing changes in behavior; and certainly stands in the way of a meaningful journey through life together.

Laziness.

Are you dating someone whom you can seldom ask out because they would rather sit by themselves at home? Do you always have to convince him to put on his jeans so you can go out with friends? Is his sluggishness and listlessness boring you to death? Has he been unemployed for over a year and living with his parents because he dreads the thought of looking for a job and dressing up for interviews?

It’s either time to convince him to come out of his idleness or leave him in his squalor. Indolence, apathy, and disinterest in almost everything are not just relationship deal breakers, but also serious attitude issues that he needs to sort out.

Verbal abuse.

This is verbal abuse. Hurling foul words, calling you bad names, and fuming (even occasionally) are not good signs. You should consider these bad habits of guys as early red flags of something more terrible to come. You’re probably with someone who has serious anger management issues or terrible psychological problems he needs to work out before committing to any relationship.

bad habits of guysGambling.

While some men actually win big when gambling, others aren’t as lucky. Playing roulette or poker occasionally isn’t that bad. What’s unacceptable is a preoccupation with these expensive habits. One can spend hundreds or thousands of dollars in one session alone—and that’s alarming. Imagine if you lived together and missed paying bills because he’d gambled the money away.

Online gaming.

Guys who are addicted to World of Warcraft or any online game should never date anyone at all. How would you be able to have quality time together if he’s too engrossed in shooting people on the screen? You know that gambling, internet addiction, online gambling and compulsive porn viewing are all relationship deal breakers that may sound petty, but are definitely not.

Watch out for any of these bad habits of guys that are major relationship deal breakers. You may not notice them at first, but their ugly heads are sure to show up if you wait long enough. Then you either wait a while longer to see if anything changes, or you flee the scene before you’re hurt.

Learn about These Early Relationship Deal BreakersEarly-Relationship Deal Breakers To Beware Of

You’re probably wondering why you jump from one relationship to another, each lasting two months or two weeks. So why do men not last around you? You could be doing one of these relationship deal breakers without realizing.

You’re unsure

Don’t enter a relationship if you’re not sure about your feelings. Just because all your ex high-school friends have shared photos of themselves and their boyfriends on Facebook doesn’t mean you should pick up the next guy you see and date him. Takesome time. Don’t fall into the trap of half-baked love and quasi relationships that surely won’t last longer than three weeks. You’ll have to admit your mistake eventually, and you’ll be sorry.

You lay the blame on him all the time

Having a partner means dealing with a few issues every now and then. Misunderstandings, problems and arguments are part of relationships, romantic or not. It’s very unrealistic and dishonest to assume you’re faultless in all your quarrels. Sometimes you’ve to admit you’re at fault and take the blame; especially if your mistake was obvious. Don’t try to reason things out or rationalize and try to turn the tables to make him the offender. No one likes that.

You get mad with him for something too petty

Being a difficult, hard-to-please girlfriend is one of the worst relationship deal breakers. Don’t act like a princess who needs to be pampered all the time. Men like to please their lovers, but sometimes they make mistakes—even with good intentions beforehand. Did he buy three bars of chocolate instead of four?

Did he arrive at your meeting place five minutes late? Didn’t you like the breakfast he prepared? The last thing you should do is put on an all-day-long scowl. Don’t act as if his accidentally stepping on your shoe will make the sky fall. Be reasonable. Be considerate. Let small mistakes pass. relationship deal breakers

You’re too vain

Most relationship deal breakers are obvious. This one is not. You may think you’re too beautiful and too stylish for him to ever leave you. Men like beautiful women, not narcissistic women. If you spend five hours putting on makeup, curling your hair, trying on twenty dresses and twenty pairs of shoes to make sure you look perfect on each of your dates, expect his exasperation anytime soon.

You don’t have to look like a million dollars every time you go out, so don’t make him wait ages before you come out of your room. A lot of men don’t like too much vanity. Chances are he’s parading you around like a trophy or he’s thinking you’re trying to call attention to yourself in public. Both are equally annoying.

You show bad behavior to others

You may be sweet and kind to him early in your relationship, but your true nature may show when you’re around other people. If you’re mean to your mom, then he’s probably thinking that you may treat him like that one day. Also, your snootiness towards attendants and waiters may cause him embarrassment in public. Think about it. Being graceful is indispensable. Who wants to end up with a mean girl?

You constantly check on him

Do you really have to call him every hour to know where he is and what he is doing? You could be giving him the creeps. One of the relationship deal breakers women overlook is being overly concerned. You don’t have to know everything he does, especially if it has nothing to do with your relationship. Chances are you’re driving him nuts and driving him away with the constant text messaging and constant pleas to respond to your every petty reminder. Be quiet for a day and he might miss you.

Being a little too cold

Men expect you to be warm and sweet if you’re their girlfriend. You may be too shy to show your love for him during the first few days, but if you’re still like that during the next few days, your true feelings may rise as an issue. Not saying “I love you,” giving him a loose hug, turning your face away when he tries to kiss you—these are relationship deal breakers. He may think you’re not yet ready, and he may call it quits. You may have agreed to date him because you were infatuated, but then realized you really have nothing in common and you don’t like his company. If so, end it right there before he does.

The Worst Relationship Deal Breakers: Being Self-DestructiveThe Worst Relationship Deal Breakers: Being Self-Destructive

One of the many mysteries about women is why most of them seem to be drawn to so-called bad boys.  There are those who believe their maternal instincts kick in when they meet such boys, causing the former to feel they need to change the latter for the better.  Psychology aside, most (if not all) women almost always find a man with an air of roughness exciting.  But when you discover the man you like is self-destructive, break up with him as soon as possible.  No matter how much you like him, his character flaw of being so is sure to be a relationship deal breaker.

A self-destructive guy thinks, speaks, and/or acts in ways that are harmful to him.  Alcoholics, drug addicts, and criminals are examples of self-destructive guys.  Such a guy may truly love you and promise you he’ll change, but the fact that he does harmful things to himself with apparently no care for his or other people’s health or sanity should already prove to you there isn’t any assurance he will indeed change.

Certain vices, no matter how harmful, can have a hold on a person so strong that he or she would be willing to give up everything just to continue on his self-destructive course.

relationship deal breaker

You might love a self-destructive guy so much that you’d decide to stay with him. While we believe everybody has the right to love whomever they fall for and try their best to make the relationship work despite how difficult doing so may be, be prepared for a world of pain. Although a self-destructive guy’s thoughts, words, and/or acts are harmful mainly to himself, whether he or the people in his life like it, everybody gets hurt.

When an alcoholic is drunk, it’s possible he’ll fly into a drunken rage and hurt his loved ones physically.  When a drug addict craves an illegal drug but has no money, it’s likely he’ll harass his loved ones until they give him some.  When a criminal is sent to jail or killed, he leaves behind his loved ones heartbroken. Worst of all is how all of the people in a self-destructive guy’s life can do nothing but watch him destroy himself.

Changing for the better should come from within him in order for it to work. Most self-destructive men refuse to change.  Indeed, while there have been many cases of self-destructive men who’ve changed for the better,  the self-destructive men who are still on a destructive course far outnumber the men who were able to save themselves.

It’s said that nobody should ever play with fire.  If a lit match can burn an entire forest to ashes, imagine what it could do to you if you mishandle it.  Having a relationship with a self-destructive guy can be described in a similar way.

He might be quite alluring, but the suffering his destructive thoughts, words, and/or acts can cause you wouldn’t be worth having a romantic relationship with him.  His character flaw is nothing but a relationship deal breaker. Pain may be an unavoidable part of having a romantic relationship, but we believe an excessive amount of it’s unacceptable.

The Worst Relationship Deal Breakers Refusing to Have a Stable JobThe Worst Relationship Deal Breakers: Refusing to Have a Stable Job

Due in large part to the advent of the Internet, anybody can now decide to pursue a nontraditional job, where more could be earned than doing traditional work.  Take, for example, blogging.  Well-known, authoritative bloggers are now earning several tens of thousands of dollars a year, while not all of their traditional counterparts, like newspaper columnists, are.

What all of this means for single women is they should be more open to dating men who’ve nontraditional jobs than they normally are, while being careful to avoid the guys who just refuse to have stable work.  We believe refusing to have a stable job is among the worst relationship deal breakers.

Having a nontraditional job is different from chasing an unattainable dream.  Take, for example, the differences between a freelance graphic artist and a wannabe rapper.  While a freelance graphic artist may work from home, have no fixed working schedule, never wear a suit and tie, and sit in front of his computer almost all day, if he’s talented and works hard, it’s likely he earns enough money for supporting himself and, if your relationship with him becomes serious, you.

A wannabe rapper may live and work almost the same way a freelance graphic artist does, but if the former is chasing his dream only because he believes he’ll get rich once he realizes it, even though he has no talent and doesn’t work hard, it’s unlikely he’ll ever be able to earn enough for supporting himself and you.

relationship deal breaker

Financial stability is among the cornerstones of a serious, meaningful, harmonious, and long-lasting romantic relationship.  You can’t truly enjoy your boyfriend’s company on a tight budget.

Sure, simply hanging out with him would be fine for the first couple of months of dating, but you’d eventually (if not soon) like to have dinner at a posh restaurant, take a vacation abroad, spend a few days at a local resort, and/or go on a road trip with him.

If the money between the two of you is scarce, because only you’ve some, it’s unlikely you’d be able to do these things with him.  If you still have a romantic relationship with a guy who has no stable job, you might end up supporting both him and yourself.  No matter how much you love him, you’d eventually (if not soon) tire of taking care of him financially.  It’s only fair your boyfriend is as stable as you financially. If he isn’t, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t take care of you.

To be sure, we find nothing wrong in chasing a dream.  Not only do we believe everybody has the right to try to achieve their life goals, but we also believe doing so helps us grow.  Whether we succeed, our attempts are sure to make us better than we used to be, enabling us to improve our lives.

But if the dream of the guy you like is nothing but a get-rich-quick scheme, even if he were your dream guy personified, we strongly suggest you look for another potential boyfriend, as his blind dream-chasing is sure to be a relationship deal breaker.

The Worst Relationship Deal Breakers: Refusing to be Independent

The Worst Relationship Deal Breakers Refusing to be IndependentSingle women who are serious about building a meaningful romantic relationship shouldn’t take dating lightly.  Indeed, they have to look for more in their potential boyfriends than men should look for in their potential girlfriends, while avoiding the several hazards towards achieving their goal.  Case in point: the particularly nasty relationship deal breaker of refusing to be independent.

Relationship deal breakers can be described as the character flaws of a potential boyfriend that can make having a meaningful relationship with him impossible—no matter how hard you try.  While you might like a guy a lot, if he has such character flaws, you’ll eventually (if not soon) lose interest in him, or, worse, suffer until you realize there’s nothing you can do to make yourself feel good once again except break up.  relationship deal breaker

Among the worst relationship deal breakers is refusing to be independent.  Being independent is basically supporting one’s self.  In order to do so, a person should move out of his parents’ house and live on his own.  By doing so, he’ll learn (if not be forced) to cook, clean, work, pay bills, and take care of himself.  In other words, a person will become independent by living on his own.

If a guy refuses to do so, it’s unlikely he can ever become independent. As long as he lives with his parents, they will almost always be there to cook, clean, pay bills, give him money, and take care of him.  Even if he helps them out, he wouldn’t be taking care of himself completely, which means he still isn’t independent.

Having a relationship with a guy who isn’t independent can be problematic.  Apart from the fact that it’s very unsexy, and there would be very little privacy for enjoying his company, it’s unlikely you can count on him.  Your boyfriend should be able to take care of you.  If he can’t take care of himself, he can’t take care of you either.

If you decide to take care of both him and yourself, know that you’ll eventually (if not soon) tire of doing so.  It’s part of our nature to want to be taken care of, especially by the person we love, and to go against it would be futile.  Moreover, taking care of both him and yourself would be unfair, for you deserve to be taken care of as much as you’d take care of him.

But, to be sure, we know there are several cultures in which living indefinitely with one’s parents is a tradition.  Such cultures believe that, no matter how large their families grow, living together under one roof for apparently the rest of their lives shows how much the members love one another and how strong their bonds are.

The state of a guy’s dependence that we’re pointing out as a relationship deal breaker is his refusal to live on his own, even if he can, were allowed to, and would do more good than harm if he did.  If the man you like seems to have no plans of ever living on his own, after having explained to you how this can cause you a world of problems, we hope you’d pass on him.

The Worst Relationship Deal Breakers: Having an Obsession

The Worst Relationship Deal Breakers Having an ObsessionThere are many things about men that women in general may never be able to understand.  Take, for example, men’s love for sports.  Not only do each of them have a favorite team, but they would also do their best to watch all of their favorite teams’ games, own several boxes worth of related paraphernalia, get depressed when their teams lose, and celebrate like there’s no tomorrow when they win a championship.

If the guy you like behaves in a similar way with regard to his favorite pastime, doing so would be fine as long as he keeps his life balanced.  But if he is obsessed with his favorite pastime to the point that his life revolves around it, we strongly suggest you break up with him as soon as possible, as his being so is a relationship deal breaker.

A pastime is defined as an activity one enjoys during his free time.  Hence, one’s favorite pastime, regardless of how entertaining the person finds it, should never be allowed to become his obsession.  When a person becomes obsessed with it, his life becomes unbalanced.  For instance, to be able to watch all of his favorite team’s games on TV, a guy may decide to always stay up as late as possible.  Doing so saps his energy, rendering him unable to enjoy quality time with you.

The less quality time he enjoys with you, the wider the emotional gap between the two of you gets, making the failure of the relationship inevitable. relationship deal breaker

Nevertheless, you might love the guy so much that you’d decide to stay with him.  While we believe you’ve the right to love whomever you fall for and try your best to make the relationship work despite how hard doing so may be, if you’ve a relationship with a guy with an obsession, you should accept that you’d be getting the short end of the stick.  It’s obvious his obsession makes him very happy, perhaps more happy than you could ever make him.

This harsh reality has nothing to do with you; he has a character flaw that’s making him obsessed with his favorite pastime and you’ve done nothing that made him feel so.  But since it’s likely you’ll become the closest person to him, he’ll talk to you about it more than he would talk about you and the relationship, while doing more for it and spending more money for it than you.

In other words, you’d forever play second fiddle to his obsession, making it unlikely your relationship with him can ever become as good as possible.  Sooner or later, you’ll tire of being with such a guy.

But, to be sure, numerous guys have gladly changed the focus of their attention from their favorite pastimes to their girlfriends, fiancées, or wives, enabling them to make their relationships work.  We only hope that, after having explained to you how having an obsession can be a relationship deal breaker, you’d be able to avoid having an awful relationship with a guy who would rather value something intangible over you.

6 Biggest Relationship Deal Breakers

6 Biggest Relationship Deal BreakersIt would be unrealistic to think of relationships as being eternal and devoid of challenges. Relationship deal breakers are part of a shared mutual affection and commitment to another person. The interesting part here is the fight-or-flight stage. Will you hang on a little while longer to see if your relationship is worth salvaging? Or will you leave, find some peace of mind, and just be single again?

Can you really tell if it’s time to go?

By the time you see a lot of deal breakers in your relationship, you’ll be wondering whether it’s reasonable to stay, or whether it’s better to just put an end to all the heartache and trouble. In most cases, this isn’t an easy choice. Indecision makes people stay in problematic and unyielding relationships longer than they should. They consider what they can do to salvage them, but in those quiet moments of contemplation, they are also wondering why they have to go through all the emotional turmoil.

When you persist despite too many relationship deal breakers, you come to a predicament where you fail to figure out the ‘last straw’ in all the drama, and you suffer from more misery because you’re too indecisive to break free. However, you need to make the decision that the best way to end a stressful, inflexible, and frustrating relationship is right now.

There’s no point in suffering any further and expecting that you can go back to being a happy couple after all the debacles you’ve been through. If the only things you remember in the last few months are stress and unhappiness, it makes sense to end it completely.

Have you reached the cold, calm stage after the series of storms?

If the answer is yes, then you’re probably near the point of no return. Be mindful that if you’re no longer comfortable around him, then you must leave. It shouldn’t get any more complicated than that. Don’t assume it’s okay to linger around a bit longer because you two can still patch things up. No, you can’t. There’s only so much two people can go through before things become irreparable. All those relationship deal breakers you had to put up with surely left a bleak area in both of you that is beyond consoling. Those strange quiet dinners together mean only one thing; and you know that deep down inside.

Do you still care about him? Are you still concerned about what he does or where he is?

Indifference and lack of concern are not just relationship deal breakers, but also telltale signs of an impending breakup. Apathy happens because of two things—too much fighting and erosion of affection. In the former, the people in the relationship have reached a point wherein they argue about almost anything; that’s when they realize they shouldn’t be together. In the latter, they simply lose their love for each other over time.

Both situations involve different types of relationship deal breakers. Both situations result in an unrelenting immobility that can only be resolved by ending the relationship — in most cases. relationship deal breakers

Do you feel alone?

There’s nothing more saddening and painful than the austere feeling of loneliness, despite being with him. Are you still in love with him? If yes, the next question is, is he still in love with you? Is the love you feel for each other still as strong as before? Feelings of loneliness and unhappiness are relationship deal breakers. The next thing you know, tears are streaming down your face after hearing a ballad or love song on the radio.

Is either of you attracted to someone else?

When relationship deal breakers cascade into a downhill slide, they result in more relationship deal breakers that will eventually put an end to it all. Someone in a relationship doesn’t fall for someone else if they are completely satisfied with their partner. If you’re truly in love with each other, and you see nothing wrong with each other, neither of you should be attracted to someone else. It just doesn’t make sense.

Have you been thinking of being free?

If thoughts of breaking up have been lingering in your mind for a while, you probably should go with your hunch. After all, it has been pushing you to the exit. This is perhaps your subconscious mind’s way of telling you’ve had enough. Think about it. If all was well, you wouldn’t be mulling over breaking up. There’s no need to prolong the agony. What for?

5 Relationship Deal Breakers Every Woman Should Know

relationship deal breakersAre you wondering why you can’t seem to maintain your relationships for long? While you may have convinced yourself that there’s nothing wrong with how you dealt with your past relationships (and all the blame goes to every ex-boyfriend you ever had), you probably need to sit down and mull over your shortcomings.

A lot of relationship deal breakers might have seemed too trivial until the next altercation; until you realized those little shortcomings actually mattered a lot.

One: Being too busy

Any sane man understands that we all have to work. Work is life. Work means money to pay yourbills, gas for your car, and groceries. But if you spend 12 hours at work from Monday to Saturday and you basically have no time for anything else – aside from spending all Sunday dead tired under the sheets, you’re not going to be seeing your guy next week.

Having no time for your boyfriend is one of the most common relationship deal breakers. What’s the point of being in a relationship if you’ve no time for it? Relationships can’t work if either, or both, of you’re too busy to see each other. Find time for quick dinner dates after a crazyFriday. Or plan to spend a lunch break together.

Two: Lying

Women lie as often as men do. Everyone is guilty of lying; but there are lies that are unforgivable in relationships. If you lie about past relationships, about your job or yourself in general, prepare to face dire consequences. Honesty is crucial in keeping people in your life. You can’t expect to be with anyone for long if you keep making up cover-stories to steer clear of ugly confrontations. If your boyfriend discovers you’ve been lying, prepare to lose his trust – or him.

Three: Mooching

relationship deal breakersThis surely falls under nasty relationship deal breakers. Social climbing and dating don’t go too well together. There’s nothing wrong with asking your boyfriend for favors, but asking for money or asking him to buy you whatever you want whenever the whim takes you can smother whatever feelings your guy has for you. Just because he drives a Rolls-Royce and he loves you doesn’t mean he’d give in to all your wishes. He’s not a genie!

Sure, you probably love him, but you love his money more; and soon he’s going to discover that and figure out your insufferable materialism and dishonesty. The next thing you know you’re calling a taxi after being kicked out of his house.

Well, it’s probably no big deal because you can just seduce his rich neighbor; and the cycle repeats until you realize you’re 35 and you’re no longer as hot as you were when you mooched off your first rich guy 12 years ago – and now all the rich men your age are married. This trait is certainly high on the list of embarrassing relationship deal breakers.

Four: Bossing around

If you’re the alpha female and you’re in a relationship with a deep-thinking docile guy. You may be tempted to be the boss in your severe eyeglasses and black stilettos, giving orders all the time. Woman, stop right there! While we don’t want men to rule our lives, we also shouldn’t do the exact thing we hate.

You may think it’s sweet to ask him to get your slippers from upstairs or to make him run errands for you every day. Think again! That guy is going to get tired of fixing your morning coffee, while he gets nothing but a bland kiss on the cheek and tap on the back. He won’t be there when you get home from work this evening.

Five: Fussing

Women are detailed-oriented and can be demanding perfectionists. These are not terrible traits. In fact, these qualities make them successful in their chosen careers. However, some women are just too finicky, and such fastidiousness shows itself in many situations; such as spending two hours trying on dresses that virtually look the same, or asking him everything about his last job-related trip (questions ranging from who he was traveling with and what time he slept, to who he was with in his hotel room and why he didn’t return your calls).

He finally got fed up with your paranoia and cynicism, and broke up with you three days ago.

Relationship deal breakers are usually small things you ignore along the way, but notice only after you call it quits.

Four Worst Relationship Deal Breakers

relationship deal breakersJust because you love him doesn’t mean your relationship is within the bounds of reason. Relationship deal breakers are deal breakers – no matter what you think of them. You can choose to stay and see if you can work out the differences if you feel you can live with things you dislike about him, but eventually you’ll get fed up. However, serious relationship deal breakers are more than simply things you dislike – they’re unforgivable.

Being married (and keeping it a secret)

At least three relationship deal breakers are committed in this case. One, the most serious, is that he is married. Two, he is dating you even though he already has a wife. Three, he kept it from you. Anyone who’s married should not be dating anybody. That’s worse than cheating on their spouse. If you date a man who’s keeping his marriage a secret, you’ve become involved in his cheating.

For a single woman, there’s no feeling worse than being involved in a man’s infidelity – or being the reason for his infidelity. Of course, it’s not your fault, but it’ll be if you keep the relationship going. You may have fallen for him, but be rational. It’s hard to ignore all the relationship deal breakers in this case.

Stinginess

Did he lose his business to the recent downturn? Well, apart from the fact that that happened six years ago, it really is miserable to have a stingy boyfriend who’s too scared to take you to posh restaurants because he might break the bank. What’s the matter with taking you out to one at least once or twice a year?

Being overly frugal makes him look like a cheapskate. And if he’s always that way, you may want to think twice about bringing him with you on your night out with friends, lest you end up paying for him. Having a cheap boyfriend is an embarrassment – making it one of the worst relationship deal breakers. Either he isn’t thoughtful and generous, or he has financial woes that he needs to deal with first.

Narcissism

relationship deal breakers
Obsession with oneself and narcissism are two noxious relationship deal breakers.

Have you noticed a growing number of men who love to post their naked selfies on Facebook? Should you be alarmed? If your boyfriend posts one or two shirtless pictures on his Instagram or Tumblr, then let it pass, but you should worry if he’s posting half-naked photos every day. There’s no reason for guys to do that unless they want to show off – or worse – they want to flirt with other girls.

Also, watch out if he’s unreasonably conceited. Does he spend a lot of time in front of the mirror grooming himself? Good grooming and hygiene are good, but too much grooming may be a little over-the-top. How long does he spend choosing shirts, jeans and shoes to wear? Does he really have to spend an hour choosing tight shirts, skimpy jeans, fake eyeglasses and boots? Is he obsessed with himself? Is he doing this to gain attention?

Obsession with oneself and narcissism are two noxious relationship deal breakers. You’re dealing with someone who’s given to egocentrism. He probably doesn’t care about you as much as he cares about himself. He doesn’t look after you as wellas he looks after himself. This will soon become a problem.

Tyranny

A lot of men are guilty of extreme domination tendencies. You can easily see this personality trait during your first few dates. Does he constantly plan the date, venue and food? Does he ask you where you want to go, or what you want to eat, or what movie you want to watch? Or is it all of his choosing? All these instances of domineering behavior should be relationship deal breakers. Imagine if you’re already living together and he declares that only his decisions matter.

Later, he begins to control your life in many ways; you can’t go out with friends when he doesn’t want you to, for instance; and you need to run to see him quickly when he calls you. Bossy men can be exasperating. You love him now. You’ll loathe him next month.

Lose Your Guy On Purpose With These Eight Relationship Deal Breakers

relationship deal breakersSuppose you want to get rid of your mean boyfriend or you’ve figured out you entered into a relationship by mistake—but you’re afraid to just say it out loud and straight that you want to call it quits. Calm down and consider these clever (or silly) relationship deal breakers to make him go.

Turn down dates

Guys are usually the first ones to ask their girlfriends out for a date. Next time he asks you out, say no. Make sure you come up with smart alibis. Relationship deal breakers can be as easy and as obvious as this. If you keep doing this, if you keep turning down his pleas for you to go out, he’ll figure it out eventually and bother you no more.

Hang out with your girlfriends

The thought of spending all night with him is probably reminding you of those boring nights you spent together talking about football or listening to his long list of job accomplishments until you almost puked. So you don’t wish to spend more than an hour with him – anywhere. Call your friends and tell them to pick you up. Add your boyfriend’s egocentrism to the list of relationship deal breakers. Perhaps you can find a quiet, docile nerd next time.

Forget about looking cute and pretty

relationship deal breakersGuys love gorgeous women. So he might be confused when you turn up one day looking like you’ve been to hell and back. Looking unkempt is a sure way to send him away. Don’t even try to fix your clothes. When it comes to mean relationship deal breakers, this one makes you really repulsive.

Refuse to have sex

Men are sexually aggressive. Blame it on their testosterone. It’s not uncommon for men to ask their girlfriends for intimacy in the bedroom, but when your feelings for him are waning, you probably don’t want to get off with him anymore. One of the common relationship deal breakers is lack of intimacy. If you don’t give it to him, he’ll probably look somewhere else, unless he can manage alone.

Don’t answer his phone calls

Communication is vital in any relationship. If both of you’re working, dialing each other’s number is one of the best ways to catch up or say your sweet nothings. But if you don’t feel like talking to him, don’t answer the phone. Turn it off instead. Keep doing that and he’ll get mad, confront you, and break up with you. If that’s what you want, then you should throw a party!

Pick on him

One example of offensive relationship deal beakers is bullying. The usual bullies between men and women are men, because they are by nature more domineering. Any objections? You can learn a tip or two from these men. Be the bully. Criticize your boyfriend’s hairstyle. Make fun of his fashion sense. Humiliate him in front of his friends about his passé style and tell them how loud he snores or how much his breath stinks in the morning. He’ll dump you in no time.

Go away alone

Take a vacation alone, and don’t inform him. When he realizes you’re gone, he’ll be mad, because girlfriends are supposed to ask permission from their boyfriends if they’re going somewhere. Secret trips and disappearances without notice are relationship deal breakers. He’ll probably guess you need time for yourself. Don’t be surprised if he’s dating someone new when you return after a month.

Take a selfie with another guy

Ouch! This can hurt! So be careful. You don’t know what indignant men are capable of. Post it on Facebook, and make sure he sees it, you bad girl!

All right, enough with the inanity. If you’re not in love with him anymore, talk to him about it. End your relationship and lose your guy with dignity.

6 Relationship Deal Breakers That’ll Drive Him Away

relationship deal breakersYou don’t suppose breakups all happen because of men. Sure, men have their shortcomings, but women are equally guilty of relationship deal breakers, too. But what do women do that may drive their men away?

1. When you’re not supportive

Men may look like tough people who can take all the bullets and all the stress in life, but no, they can’t. Deep inside, they are creatures who feel frustration; and when they do, they need someone to be around to console them. Where were you when his proposal during a corporate meeting got tossed in the trash bin?

2. When you’re not interested in what he’s interested in

This isn’t necessarily your fault. You can’t fake interest in subjects he frequently talks about just to be that cool girl beside your guy on a starry night. Maybe he got the wrong girl. Maybe you got the wrong guy. Incompatibility is one of the most common relationship deal breakers. It isn’t just about you having no common interests. It can also be your differing religious beliefs or principles in life. This can happen even between couples who love each other. Sometimes these relationship deal breakers can overwhelm mutual affection.

3. When you never give him compliments

Why? Don’t you care about his accomplishments? Don’t you care that he made you a tasty breakfast? Men like to be admired, especially by the people dear to them. If you’re too frugal with kind words to say to him, he may think you don’t care about what he does; or you don’t really love him that much. Lack of appreciation for his triumphs, and lack of interest in his successes are relationship deal breakers for men.

4. When you keep biting his head off

Fights, when they happen often, are relationship deal breakers. Who wants to be around someone only to have arguments all the time? You may seem to be sorting out each other’s differences; you may think you’re trying to know and understand each other by arguing often, but everyone has a limit – and everyone’s emotions need to rest, even for a day. Too many heated dramas can be agonizing. The only way for him to get relief is to maybe set you free.

relationship deal breakers5. When you want to be single again

Single women may enter relationships by mistake. Did you say yes to him without forethought, and now you’re wondering whether you made the right decision? Now you dread sharing your time between him and your friends; but you want to hang out with friends more than you want to be with him.

Pursuing the relationship despite indecisiveness, having second thoughts, and being unsure about your true feelings for him are relationship deal breakers. Better be honest now than be sorry later.

6. When you’re a big spender

Perhaps you valued yourself as a college socialite who always had luxuries. Most men see this as a red flag. Average-earning men see this as a threat and may back out from the relationship as early as possible, because relationship deal breakers include lavish spending habits.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve your own money to spend for all your shopping sprees; men don’t like to go shopping, and they certainly can’t imagine having a girlfriend who would rather shop than spend time with them. What’s worse is when you don’t have your own money and you keep begging him for cash so you can party with the other girls in the “fauxcialite” circle.

Relationship Deal Breakers That Happen on Facebook

relationship deal breakers onlineSo many girls lose friends and boyfriends due to lack of tact on social media. It’s easy to express yourself on online platforms like Facebook. It’s easy to think you can wear your heart on your sleeve and get away with it unscathed, but that isn’t usually the case.

A lot of relationship deal breakers in recent years can be found in online forums. A post or a photo can put an end to a relationship. In some cases, even not posting at all may result in lovers’ blues.

Over-sharing

One of the disadvantages of being engrossed by social media platforms like Facebook is that you tend to share minute-by-minute accounts of your daily life. In fact, some singles are too preoccupied with posting something every hour; you can almost document their daily life by what you see in their timelines. Being too preoccupied with sharing posts and pictures, most of which are trivial, has become infamous in the list of modern relationship deal breakers.

Two reasons your boyfriend may not like you to spend too much time on Facebook to air whatever you’ve in mind every ten minutes are:

  1. He doesn’t like you to be an open book; which is both unnecessary and opens you to the risk of exposing yourself too much. Others may discover a lot about you, even those Facebook “friends” whom you’ve never met.
  2. He may think you’re calling too much attention to yourself or seeking too much unwanted sympathy. Limit posting to just a few times a week. And only update your Facebook page when there’s something worth sharing. Some relationship deal breakers are obvious. This one isn’t.

relationship deal breakersUpdating everyone about your relationship blues

It seems all of your girlfriends are guilty of this – and yes, even guys do this. But it can put your relationship at risk. This may be even worse than over-sharing, as this one is usually unpleasant and emotionally charged. When you’re angry or upset you say things you might regret in hindsight. You may flood your friends’ news feeds with your frustration. You vent every negative feeling you’ve about him.

What is worse, you get people to sympathize with you. Some of them may even say bad things about him. Then your boyfriend learns about your posts and confronts you about it. The next thing you know you’re having a heated argument. Airing negativities on Twitter or Facebook is just one of the notorious relationship deal breakers. You may be able to delete the post, but you really cannot take back the negative things you’ve said.

The best way to settle misunderstandings between you and the person you care for is to talk about the issue face to face. If you feel like venting about your anger or exasperation, phone a friend.

Chatting with your ex

There’s really nothing wrong with talking with your ex, especially if you both have totally moved on and are now happy with your own lives. But if you’re having clandestine online meet-ups with him, and your current guy learns about it serendipitously, you could be in some serious trouble. Why would you be doing this anyway? This is one of the most embarrassing relationship deal breakers.

Fuming on his timeline

You’re livid. You’re seething because he didn’t return your calls. You’re mad because he didn’t pick you up from work and you had to call a cab. So you ranted on his timeline. But he didn’t respond. Instead, he unfriended you and never replied to your messages. He must have been fed up with your nagging all the time you were together.

Ignoring his posts

None of the relationship deal breakers is subtler than this. You may have different interests, but showing constant disinterest towards him online may make him wonder whether you’re just busy or you really don’t care at all. Could this be an early sign of incompatibility?

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Erin Lane on Email
Erin Lane
I'm a Dating Senior Writer at Independent Femme. I'm famously indecisive and love to write about love, marriage, and making the world a better place for healthy and sparkling relationships!

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